I'm too tired to continue.....

      In the book The Dream Giver(1) the main character Ordinary finds himself in The WasteLand. Never mind, he just stepped out of his comfort zone to follow his Big Dream, and he just made it through all of the Border Bullies who tried to stop him, he now has stumbled into the desert of The WasteLand.

      Here is where Ordinary faces the greatest difficulty of his journey. Just when he convinced himself his dream was worth it, his faith in the Dream Giver was to be tested.

      This is an all too familiar journey for me. Two years ago in 2011, I decided to stop being just a cradle Christian. I stepped onto a path God had been waiting for me to see. This was the path designed for me and only me, and it was laid out before I was even "knit in my mother's womb."(a) However, had I known the struggles I would face, I might have chosen a different route.

      That's what I've grown to love about faith. If God told us everything upfront, it would blow our minds. He desires a deep intimacy with us, and I'm not sure we would feel very intimate knowing the circumstances we were to face and how He would engineer them for His glory.

Following a dream or calling is a walk through a series of trials and persecutions, but that refining was never intended for our gain and purpose.

"If you are going to be used by God, He will take you through a number of experiences that are not meant for you personally at all. They are designed to make you useful in His hands, and to enable you to understand what takes place in the lives of others." - Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest(Nov 5th)

When I think of persisting in difficult circumstances, I'm often reminded of a speech given by a former college basketball coach. Suffering from cancer, he was awarded the Arthur Ashe Courage and Humanitarian Award. Here are some excerpts of his acceptance speech:

“But think about it. If you laugh, you think, and you cry, that's a full day. That's a heck of a day. You do that seven days a week, you're going to have something special.”

“…and I always have to think about what's important in life to me are these three things. Where you started, where you are and where you're going to be. Those are the three things that I try to do every day.”

“I just got one last thing, I urge all of you, all of you, to enjoy your life, the precious moments you have. To spend each day with some laughter and some thought, to get you're emotions going. To be enthusiastic every day and as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Nothing great could be accomplished without enthusiasm," to keep your dreams alive in spite of problems whatever you have. The ability to be able to work hard for your dreams to come true, to become a reality. “
"Don't give up, don't ever give up."
“Cancer can take away all my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart and it cannot touch my soul. And those three things are going to carry on forever.“ - Jim Valvano 1993 at ESPY Awards(2)

 

Decision #7

The Persistent Decision*

I Will Persist Without Exception.

Knowing that I have already made changes in my life that will last forever, today I insert the final

piece of the puzzle. I possess the greatest power ever bestowed upon mankind, the power of choice.

Today, I choose to persist without exception. No longer will I live in a dimension of distraction, my

focus blown hither and yon like a leaf on a blustery day. I know the outcome I desire. I hold fast to

my dreams. I stay the course. I do not quit.

I will persist without exception. I will continue despite exhaustion. I acknowledge the fact that most

people quit when exhaustion sets in. I am not “most people.” I am stronger than most people.

Average people accept exhaustion as a matter of course. I do not. Average people compare themselves

 

with other people. That is why they are average. I compare myself to my potential. I am not average. I see

 

exhaustion as a precursor to victory.

How long must a child try to walk before he actually does so? Do I not have more strength than a

child? More understanding? More desire? How long must I work to succeed before I actually do

so? A child would never ask the question, for the answer does not matter. By persisting without

exception, my outcome—my success—is assured. I will persist without exception. I focus on results.

To achieve the results I desire, it is not even necessary that I enjoy the process. It is only important

that I continue the process with my eyes on the outcome. An athlete does not enjoy the pain of

training; an athlete enjoys the results of having trained. A young falcon is pushed from the nest,

afraid and tumbling from the cliff. The pain of learning to fly cannot be an enjoyable experience,

but the anguish of learning to fly is quickly forgotten as the falcon soars to the heavens.

A sailor who fearfully watches stormy seas lash his vessel will always steer an unproductive course.

But a wise and experienced captain keeps his eye firmly fixed upon the lighthouse. He knows that

by guiding his ship directly to a specific point, the time spent in discomfort is lessened. And by

keeping his eye on the light, there never exists one second of discouragement. My light, my harbor,

my future is within sight!

I will persist without exception. I am a person of great faith. In Jeremiah, my Creator declares, “For

I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a

 

future.” From this day forward, I will claim a faith in the certainty of my future. Too much of my life has

 

been spent doubting my beliefs and believing my doubts. No more! I have faith in my

future. I do not look left or right. I look forward. I can only persist.

For me, faith will always be a sounder guide than reason because reason can only go so far—faith

has no limits. I will expect miracles in my life because faith produces them every day. I will

believe in the future that I do not see. That is faith. And the reward of this faith is to see the

future that I believed.

I will continue despite exhaustion. I focus on results. I am a person of great faith.

 

I will persist without exception.

 

* The Traveler's Gift by Andy Andrews(3)

The Gospel According to Dory

As a father, one of my favorite movies is Disney Pixar's Finding Nemo. I know what it is to be a single father, and I know the great lengths my heart would take me if something were to happen to my children.

If you've never seen the movie, the main character Marlin is on a search through the ocean to find his son Nemo, who was taken by some divers. Along the way we meet Dory. Dory is what my wife would say is "somewhat touched." She is a fish with short-term memory loss, and after she meets you or gains new information, she forgets it rather quickly.

Flash forward a bit, and Marlin and Dory are over a deep trench that stretches into the darkness. The only clue as to where Nemo may be had just sank into that trench. Marlin is beside himself as to what to do. He feels like his entire world just collapsed with that sinking clue.

Dory, in her serendipitous way, sees no problem. Her thought is to swim down into the abyss and retrieve what they need. Marlin cannot fathom(see what I did there?..fathom) even the possibility of retrieving the clue. Then Dory asks the question we all are frozen with fear to answer. "What do you do when life gets you down?"

Most of us think of a thousand scenarios of catastrophe and just give up. Dory's answer is not high on our preference, nor does it remotely seem logical. As a matter of fact, it's downright giddy irresponsibility! (I stole that from George Banks in Mary Poppins)

Dory simply begins to sing "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming,....."

Today as you read what Andy Andrews has written, think of your life. Is squeezing out a smile and singing a song, painfully irritating? Think of your present situation or season of your life, and then take the advice of a little girl locked up in a prison camp. Anne Frank, in spite of all she was experiencing, chose to be happy.





Decision #5

The Joyful Decision*

Today, I Will Choose to be Happy.

Beginning this very moment, I am a happy person, for I now truly understand the concept of

happiness. Few others before me have been able to grasp the truth of the physical law that

enables one to live happily every day. I know now that happiness is not an emotional phantom

floating in and out of my life. Happiness is a choice. Happiness is the end result of certain

thoughts and activities, which actually bring about a chemical reaction in my body. This reaction

results in a euphoria, which, while elusive to some, is totally under my control.

Today I will choose to be happy. I will greet each day with laughter. Within moments of awakening,

I will laugh for seven seconds. After even such a small period of time, excitement has begun

to flow through my bloodstream. I feel different. I am different! I am enthusiastic about the day.

I am alert to its possibilities. I am happy! Laughter is an outward expression of enthusiasm, and

I know that enthusiasm is the fuel that moves the world. I laugh throughout the day. I laugh while

I am alone, and I laugh in conversation with others. People are drawn to me because I have laughter

in my heart. The world belongs to the enthusiastic for people will follow them anywhere!

Today I will choose to be happy. I will smile at every person I meet. My smile has become my

calling card. It is, after all, the most potent weapon I possess. My smile has the strength to forge

bonds, break ice, and calm storms. I will use my smile constantly. Because of my smile, the people

with whom I come in contact on a daily basis will choose to further my causes and follow my

leadership. I will always smile first. That particular display of a good attitude will tell others what

I expect in return. My smile is the key to my emotional make up. A wise man once said, “I do not

sing because I am happy; I am happy because I sing!” When I choose to smile, I become the master

of my emotions. Discouragement, despair, frustration, and fear will always wither when confronted

by my smile. The power of who I am is displayed when I smile.

Today I will choose to be happy. I am the possessor of a grateful spirit. In the past, I have found

discouragement in particular situations, until I compared the condition of my life to others less

fortunate. Just as a fresh breeze cleans smoke from the air, so does a grateful spirit remove the

cloud of despair. It is impossible for the seeds of depression to take root in a thankful heart. My

God has bestowed upon me many gifts, and for these I will remember to be grateful. Too many

times I have offered up the prayers of a beggar, always asking for more and forgetting my thanks.

I do not wish to be seen as a greedy child, unappreciative, and disrespectful. I am grateful for

sight and sound and breath. If ever in my life there is a pouring out of blessings beyond that, then

I will be grateful for the miracle of abundance.

I will greet each day with laughter. I will smile at every person I meet. I am the possessor of a

grateful spirit.

Today, I will choose to be happy.

*Traveler's Gift by Andy Andrews 

The Power of the Decision.

Soon after returning from London, I realized the answer to my questions. Although, this answer seemed to bring MORE questions. I began to take an inventory of myself and resources, because that's what wise people do when asked to DO something, right?

All I could hear in my mind was a small still voice saying, "Quit your job." This made no sense, nor was this the path I had spent years treading. "You can't quit your job without first having another lined up." is what I was always taught.

Many times after hearing this voice, I became convinced that was the answer. However, how do I take that step of faith when I can't see the path?

Many times this ended with me sobbing on my knees in the embrace of my wife assuring me that we would get through this. Disclaimer: DO NOT IGNORE THE VOICE!!

This was God's voice. He knew what lay ahead, and how my decisions would drive me deeper within myself. It finally culminated in September 2012. I left my career, but not for the reasons I had hoped. See, my ignorance to my depravity of sin and self, brought me to a mighty fall. My ego had grown to a mammoth size and I felt invincible. No decision was out of MY control.

"..For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it." Matthew 7:13

God had to allow the ME MONSTER to completely destroy me before He had any room to work in my life. I love Him for that.
My destruction didn't come from having a "decided heart", but one of fear of failure and a need to be in control.
The beautiful love story here is, no matter whether it's a debilitating disease or a career ending move, God will stop at nothing in pursuit of your heart.
When you hear "that small still voice", have a decided heart to trudge forward no matter what. He is trustworthy!!

 

Decision #4*

 

The Certain Decision

I Have a Decided Heart.

A wise man once said, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Knowing this to be true, I am taking my first step today. For too long my feet have been tentative, shuffling left and right, more backward than forward as my heart gauged the direction of the wind. Criticism, condemnation, and complaint are creatures of the wind. They come and go on the wasted breath of lesser beings and have no power over me. The power to control direction belongs to me. Today I will begin to exercise that power. My course has been charted. My destiny is assured.

 

I have a decided heart. I am passionate about my vision for the future. I will awaken every morning with an excitement about the new day and its opportunity for growth and change. My thoughts and actions will work in a forward motion, never sliding into the dark forest of doubt or the muddy quicksand of self-pity. I will freely give my vision for the future to others, and as they see the belief in my eyes, they will follow me. I will lay my head on my pillow at night happily exhausted, knowing that I have done everything within my power to move the mountains in my path. As I sleep, the same dream that dominates my waking hours will be with me in the dark. Yes, I have a dream. It is a great dream, and I will never apologize for it. Neither will I ever let it go, for if I did, my life would be finished. My

hopes, my passions, my vision for the future is my very existence. A person without a dream never had a dream come true.

I have a decided heart. I will not wait.

 

I know that the purpose of analysis is to come to a conclusion. I have tested the angles. I have measured the probabilities. And now I have made a decision with my heart. I am not timid. I will move now and not look back. What I put off until tomorrow, I will put off until the next day as well. I do not procrastinate. All my problems become smaller when I confront them. If I touch a thistle with caution, it will prick me, but if I grasp it boldly, its spines crumble into dust.

I will not wait. I am passionate about my vision for the future. My course has been charted. My destiny is assured.

I have a decided heart.

* Traveler's Gift by Andy Andrews

I refuse to do something just cause!!

Often, I find people who do things because "that's just the way we do things", but they can't really explain why they do them. I am from a generation who has been over marketed to by commercials and magazines. We are typically born between 1978-2000, which other generations have dubbed us as Millennials. We are typically skeptical of everything and resist status quo without some valuable reason for doing it. We are also less likely to take a job based on it's pay or availability. We would rather do nothing than do something less meaningful and purposeful. Our attitude can be viewed as stubborn or arrogant or even self-righteous, but what is hard to understand usually gets labeled.
In the last blog I took an excerpt from Andy Andrews book Traveler's Gift; and I decided to stop pointing fingers, making excuses, or making assumptions based on the past. "The Buck Stops Here!"
This statement made our former president Harry Truman famous during a tumultuous season of our country. In the book, the author uses the moment just before Truman gives the okay to launch the atomic bomb on Japan. Truman was determined to stop disqualifying his decisions based on his credentials. A decision had to be made. Wrong or right, he had to own it.
What do you do if the pressure of a decision or the mounting pressure of life is becoming too much to bear?
In the Traveler's Gift our character, David Ponder, travels to ancient Israel and meets King Solomon. Solomon is renown for his great wisdom. When faced with a decision, Solomon tells Ponder to "Seek Wisdom":

  Decision #2

The Guided Decision

I Will Seek Wisdom.

Knowing that wisdom waits to be gathered, I will actively search her out. My past can never be

changed, but I can change the future by changing my actions today. I will change my actions

today! I will train my eyes and ears to read and listen to books and recordings that bring about

positive changes in my personal relationships and a greater understanding of my fellow man. No

longer will I bombard my mind with materials that feed my doubts and fears. I will read and listen

only to that which increases my belief in myself and my future.

I will seek wisdom. I will choose my friends with care. I am who my friends are. I speak their

language, and I wear their clothes. I share their opinions and their habits. From this moment

forward, I will choose to associate with people whose lives and lifestyles I admire. If I associate

with chickens, I will learn to scratch at the ground and squabble over crumbs. If I associate with

eagles, I will learn to soar great heights. I am an eagle. It is my destiny to fly.

I will seek wisdom. I will listen to the counsel of wise men. The words of a wise man are like raindrops

on dry ground. They are precious and quickly used for immediate results. Only the blade

of grass that catches a raindrop will prosper and grow. The person who ignores wise counsel is

like the blade of grass untouched by the rain—soon to wither and die. When I counsel with

myself, I can only make decisions according to what I already know. By counseling with a wise

man, I add his knowledge and experience to my own and dramatically increase my success.

I will seek wisdom. I will be a servant to others. A wise man will cultivate a servant’s spirit, for

that particular attribute attracts people like no other. As I humbly serve others, their wisdom will

be freely shared with me. Often, the person who develops a servant’s spirit becomes wealthy

beyond measure. Many times, a servant has the ear of the king, and a humble servant becomes

king for he is the popular choice of the people. He who serves the most grows the fastest.

I will become a humble servant. I will not look for someone to open my door—I will look to open

the door for someone. I will not be distressed when no one is available to help me—I will be

excited when I am available to help.

I will be a servant to others. I will listen to the counsel of wise men. I will choose my friends with care.

I will seek wisdom.

It seems we are at an impasse....

When I started my journey, I was in search of an answer to my question. What I found were more questions than answers. As I began to sift through the lessons and reflections, I discovered I was shaped more by my past than my future. This led me to stumble, trip, and fall, through my life. I needed to, as Pumba from Disney's Lion King said, "Put my behind in the past!" It's been described by a friend that we all tend to walk forward while facing backwards. We disqualify ourselves to do anything bold because of our past. What I've learned is, God's not interested in yesterday, and He really isn't concerned with your plans for tomorrow. What He really wants to know is, what am I going to do with today?
Paul writes in Philippians 3:13-14

"No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, ¹⁴ I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us."

I've read a book recently by a brilliant author. In this book he follows a man facing life's similar questions. As you travel with David Ponder, you begin to see that life WAS meant for more. David gets to travel through time and spend a moment with seven significant people as they were about to change history. Along the way, he learned certain decisions that shaped their thinking. Without giving away the story, I want to focus on one of those decisions:

Decision #1 

  The Responsible Decision

The Buck Stops Here.

From this moment forward, I will accept responsibility for my past. I understand that the beginning

of wisdom is to accept the responsibility for my own problems and that by accepting responsibility

for my past, I free myself to move into a bigger, brighter future of my own choosing.

Never again will I blame my parents, my spouse, my boss, or employees for my present situation.

Neither my education or lack of one, my genetics, or the circumstantial ebb and flow of everyday

life will affect my future in a negative way. If I allow myself to blame these uncontrollable forces

for my lack of success, I will be forever caught in a web of the past. I will look forward. I will not

let my history control my destiny.

The buck stops here. I accept responsibility for my past. I am responsible for my success. I am

where I am today—mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially—because of

decisions I have made. My decisions have always been governed by my thinking. Therefore, I am

where I am today—mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and financially—because of how

I think. Today I will begin the process of changing where I am—mentally, physically, spiritually,

emotionally, and financially—by changing the way I think.

My thoughts will be constructive, never destructive. My mind will live in the solutions of the

future. It will not dwell in the problems of the past. I will seek the association of those who are

working and striving to bring about positive changes in the world. I will never seek comfort by

associating with those who have decided to be comfortable.

When faced with the opportunity to make a decision, I will make one. I understand that God did not

put in me the ability to always make right decisions. He did, however, put in me the ability to make

a decision and then make it right. The rise and fall of my emotional tide will not deter me from my

course. When I make a decision, I will stand behind it. My energy will go into making the decision.

I will waste none on second thoughts. My life will not be an apology. It will be a statement.

The buck stops here. I control my thoughts. I control my emotions.

In the future, when I am tempted to ask the question “Why me?”, I will immediately counter with

the answer: “Why not me?” Challenges are a gift, an opportunity to learn. Problems are the common

thread running through the lives of great men and women. In times of adversity, I will not

have a problem to deal with, I will have a choice to make. My thoughts will be clear. I will make

the right choice. Adversity is preparation for greatness. I will accept the preparation. Why me?

Why not me? I will be prepared for something great!

I accept responsibility for my past. I control my thoughts. I control my emotions. I am responsible

for my success.

The buck stops here.*

 

*denotes Traveler's Gift by Andy Andrews

A.W. Tozer writes it this way:

“The reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven't yet come to the end of themselves. We're still trying to give orders, and interfering with God's work within us. ”