The Power of the Decision.

Soon after returning from London, I realized the answer to my questions. Although, this answer seemed to bring MORE questions. I began to take an inventory of myself and resources, because that's what wise people do when asked to DO something, right?

All I could hear in my mind was a small still voice saying, "Quit your job." This made no sense, nor was this the path I had spent years treading. "You can't quit your job without first having another lined up." is what I was always taught.

Many times after hearing this voice, I became convinced that was the answer. However, how do I take that step of faith when I can't see the path?

Many times this ended with me sobbing on my knees in the embrace of my wife assuring me that we would get through this. Disclaimer: DO NOT IGNORE THE VOICE!!

This was God's voice. He knew what lay ahead, and how my decisions would drive me deeper within myself. It finally culminated in September 2012. I left my career, but not for the reasons I had hoped. See, my ignorance to my depravity of sin and self, brought me to a mighty fall. My ego had grown to a mammoth size and I felt invincible. No decision was out of MY control.

"..For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it." Matthew 7:13

God had to allow the ME MONSTER to completely destroy me before He had any room to work in my life. I love Him for that.
My destruction didn't come from having a "decided heart", but one of fear of failure and a need to be in control.
The beautiful love story here is, no matter whether it's a debilitating disease or a career ending move, God will stop at nothing in pursuit of your heart.
When you hear "that small still voice", have a decided heart to trudge forward no matter what. He is trustworthy!!

 

Decision #4*

 

The Certain Decision

I Have a Decided Heart.

A wise man once said, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Knowing this to be true, I am taking my first step today. For too long my feet have been tentative, shuffling left and right, more backward than forward as my heart gauged the direction of the wind. Criticism, condemnation, and complaint are creatures of the wind. They come and go on the wasted breath of lesser beings and have no power over me. The power to control direction belongs to me. Today I will begin to exercise that power. My course has been charted. My destiny is assured.

 

I have a decided heart. I am passionate about my vision for the future. I will awaken every morning with an excitement about the new day and its opportunity for growth and change. My thoughts and actions will work in a forward motion, never sliding into the dark forest of doubt or the muddy quicksand of self-pity. I will freely give my vision for the future to others, and as they see the belief in my eyes, they will follow me. I will lay my head on my pillow at night happily exhausted, knowing that I have done everything within my power to move the mountains in my path. As I sleep, the same dream that dominates my waking hours will be with me in the dark. Yes, I have a dream. It is a great dream, and I will never apologize for it. Neither will I ever let it go, for if I did, my life would be finished. My

hopes, my passions, my vision for the future is my very existence. A person without a dream never had a dream come true.

I have a decided heart. I will not wait.

 

I know that the purpose of analysis is to come to a conclusion. I have tested the angles. I have measured the probabilities. And now I have made a decision with my heart. I am not timid. I will move now and not look back. What I put off until tomorrow, I will put off until the next day as well. I do not procrastinate. All my problems become smaller when I confront them. If I touch a thistle with caution, it will prick me, but if I grasp it boldly, its spines crumble into dust.

I will not wait. I am passionate about my vision for the future. My course has been charted. My destiny is assured.

I have a decided heart.

* Traveler's Gift by Andy Andrews

There has to be more to life than this, right?

Around July of 2011, I was asking that very question. I had just finished what was a very successful year in business. I was asked to take on more in my work and relocate to a new town. All the while, I was feeling a bit empty. My wife and I went to Alexandria, Louisiana to explore what later became a defining moment in our life. On the last day we sat across from each other at this little diner, which had become our favorite hangout. We both felt something wasn't right about this opportunity. We went back home and declined to go through with it. Well this left me with an utter discontent.
After hearing a great sermon on fasting, I felt compelled to enter into a media fast. I absurdly asked my entire family to cut out television, internet, video games, for at least 40 days; I am proud to say we lasted 14. Now before you judge our resolve, we found it really difficult at first. I remember telling my wife, "I now know what it is like to be dependent on something." I was even craving it like it was air or something. My wife did a wonderful job keeping my distraction with card playing or long walks. I even tried to journal my thoughts during the fast, but I am a baby when it comes to using such primitive tools as a pen and paper.
After my brain passed through entertainment detox, I realized how loud God was screaming at me. It was almost as if my life had been filled with white noise, and about day 14 I found the off button. God was telling me the answer to my question, but I was too busy in my world to listen.
In Luke 9:24, Jesus was teaching the crowds about discipleship. In this verse He states, "If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it."
That scripture was what He was trying to get through to me. I just wish I hadn't wandered around for so long on my own trying to figure it all out.
I had been raised in church all my life, so this wasn't an unfamiliar passage. However, I wasn't real good at giving up control unless it logically made sense.
After I responded with a "Fine! I'm done! I give up!", He said I was to quit my job and go into full-time ministry. Of course this brought on a ton of questions, many which I couldn't answer. I met with my pastor the following week, and he had advised me to stay at my job. He felt I had a mission field at my work, and I could pastor my employees. This answer didn't sit well with me either.
I had lived my life my way for so long, my wife was so fed up with my selfish decisions, that even she couldn't help. So I went back to my pastor, and restated what I thought was God's message, and he didn't know how to help me. I was so frustrated!! Isn't this what pastors get trained for? After meeting several more times with him, he told me of a vision trip to London, England. Our church was going to explore mission opportunities over there. He told me he didn't have any answers for me but maybe God would show me on this trip. Well  just great!! Not only did I receive little clarity, but now I have to travel 4,000 miles to get it.
That afternoon, I sat down with my wife and told her what had happened. I asked what she thought about me going to London. I nearly fell out of my chair when her response was, "I think you should go."
God never asks you to do something that He hasn't already prepared the way for you to go. All He requires is one step in front of the other. Let Him order your steps, and guide your path.
"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path." Psalm 119:105