Walking on broken glass...

"--Watchman Nee, one of the great Chinese pastors of the 20th century, ministered to a growing church in China during a period of persecution just like this -- the communist government would send spies to his church to make sure that he wasn't preaching anything against the government -- and in their eyes, preaching Christ as Lord and Ruler of everything was treason against the government
-- so one Sunday, Watchman Nee didn't say a word -- he just grabbed a glass of water off the table and looked like he was trying to crush it with his hands -- he started shaking it and shaking it and all the water spilled out -- finally, he threw it on the ground and it shattered -- and then he took his heel and ground it against the glass -- breaking it up into smaller and smaller parts -- and then he ended the service and sent everyone home
-- the government spies didn't have a clue what had just happened -- but the true believers did -- the government of China was trying to stamp out Christianity -- but every time they tried to destroy a church by crushing it with their heel -- it didn't go away -- it just spread into more and more pieces and it grew and grew and grew -- just like the glass in Watchman Nee's sermon delivered without words
-- this is exactly what happened with the persecuted church represented by the church at Smyrna -- the more Satan tried to persecute them and wipe them off the face of the earth, the stronger they became and the more the message spread." -Excerpt taken from blog by Gregory; pastor of Koinonia Ministries, Valdosta, Georgia Imagine

     I asked this question to my family the other day: "Would you give up your life to save twenty people?" After giving it a think, they all agreed they would. Later that night, I asked my wife, "Would you give up your life to save your children?" Without hesitation, she agreed she would. Then I pondered the answers that were given, and then asked myself, "Would I give up MY life for just one other person?"
     These were questions that never plagued our Lord Jesus. The only thing that grieved Him was the matter in which He would have to make the sacrifice. One thing is for sure, He was about His Father's business, redemption. Can we find confidence in ourselves to be about our Father's business? I would argue, we cannot. Only because of the Atonement, or sacrifice of Christ, can we begin to embark on such a noble undertaking.
     Recently, my family and I took a faith step by moving six hundred miles from what we call home to the Dallas, Texas area. The missionary agency we are with, Greater Europe Mission, had given us a directive to go and serve with our Mobilization office there. This is a faith step because we had no place to live and no income to sustain us once we arrived. We live and survive on the shoulders of  ministry partners that support our family financially, so we can do the work God has instructed us to do. We are very early in our partnership development so our level of support has not reached a level to sustain us. Many people would recommend we just get regular jobs until the support catches up. Sounds completely logical and responsible. What we weren't told was, what do you do if God has called you to live differently?
     Living counter-culturally is like heading the wrong way in a crowd. You know your steadily moving, but you feel you're not gaining ground. Living by faith and complete dependence on God is much like this. Please don't hear me to say God calls all believers to live this way, this is just the path He has chosen for our family.
     We know in Luke 12:22, Jesus tells us "...not to worry about everyday life - whether you have enough food to eat or enough clothes to wear." He even goes on to compare us to the ravens and the lilies and how they grow. He says in vs. 28 "...if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?" I'll tell you why, because those who you believe to love you the most, don't understand this when it comes to those they love. Trusting God takes all of the control and security out our hands and puts it in His. We falter because we love too much.
    In John 3:20-21, Jesus addresses the other kind of people that would try to condemn you for living counter-culturally. He says "...all who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. But those who do what is right come to the light so others can see that they are doing what God wants." In other words, if you trust God with complete surrender and reckless abandonment, be ready to be rejected and persecuted. Be careful, however, to look beyond their condemnation. In most cases, they love too much as well.
    Fear is the deceiver's greatest weapon against the Good News of Jesus. Fear can cripple an entire nation and cause rebellion against peace. Fear can divide families and destroy children. Fear can produce complete disobedience to our creator in order to please His created.
    First Peter 4:12 says, "We should not be surprised when suffering comes. Believers who live a counter-cultural lifestyle in obedience to God should expect the culture to respond with hostility. We should expect mockery, discrimination, trumped-up charges, and even violence."
    C.S. Lewis in his book, Mere Christianity, addresses, what I think, is the core of why "bad things" happen to good people. He writes, "...One of the things that surprised me when I first read the New Testament seriously, was that it talked so much about a Dark Power in the universe - a mighty evil spirit who was held to be the Power behind death and disease, and sin."
    So as we go back to our original question in light of what we know in scripture and what we know from the message from Watchman Nee, we gain an understanding of our persecution. We derive a purpose of the tolerance of "bad things". Jesus was the chief of experiencing "bad things" in His death on a Roman crucifix, but out of his suffering came redemption for the world, especially when He defeated death and sin by being resurrected by the Holy Spirit three days later.
    The point is, when we suffer at the hand of this world because of our obedience to God, we are more like Jesus in His sufferings. That's much different than any prosperity gospel or tidy comfortable Christianity. Nevertheless, as we are believers, expect trouble. If you've made a nice life avoiding it, I would challenge you to listen more closely and obey. Jesus' brother James, makes it very clear in his writings to believers in 4:4, "You adulterers! Don't you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God."
    I can honestly say, because I love and hope for everyone who reads this; if I face ridicule, judgment, hostility, and even death, for the sake that others may know our Savior Jesus Christ, it was not done in vain. May grace and peace be upon you.

"So if you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is right, and trust your lives to the God who created you, for He will never fail you."

1 Peter 4:19

 

Anywhere but there!!

There is a quote that hangs on my refrigerator that I heard back in 2006 at a missions conference. Little did I know how true that quote would become.

"The life you have always dreamed of, lies in the mission you dread." -Dr. John Marshall

When my family and I started this journey on mission, we had a determination to serve God overseas. Our plan was to go and begin what we have always dreamed of in London, England, but God always has other plans.

Our mission agency told us to go to Texas for an intentional step to the field. This would provide growth in our ability to adapt, and strengthen our family and marriage, before we are displaced out of our comfort zone 4,000 miles from home.

When you take the first steps toward seeking God's purpose for your life, you covertly get enrolled in God's comprehensive training. His ways will meander you through your story rather than a straight line. It is very counter-intuitive or uncommon sense, but as you look back through the fire that you just stepped out of, you begin to see clearly what common sense looks like from His perspective. Faith is never produced on a plane ride or a long bus ride to your destination. Faith is always produced in the fiery trials of our life.
God doesn't cause pain and anguish, that happens from our sin and disobedience, but rather uses the pain and circumstance of our life for His purposes.

Each of us begin the journey on our own. God strips away every prop and scaffold that we used to make ourselves sufficient without Him. Once we have been stripped naked of all our pretense and intelligence, God begins to push value into us unlike we have ever heard before.
Being raised in church, I always heard I am "His masterpiece", but I never really believed it. You see, I was more dependent on the evaluation of others, rather than the One who created me.

So, when my family went to our Candidate Orientation to receive our assignments, Texas was certainly not on our radar. Oh sure, Greater Europe Mission has an office in Texas, so maybe that's why God picked that place, but really?..Texas? Why not England?

Never forget this; God won't always give you what you want, but He will always give you what you need.

Texas was the last place I wanted to go. I would've rather been sent to Zimbabwe or India over Texas, but that wasn't God's plan.
In Isaiah 55:8-9 we hear God tell His prophet not to put his ways or thoughts above the thoughts of God.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts..."

So why did we come to Texas? We don't know where we are going to live. We barely know anyone. How will this effect our kids? Did we here God right?

So what did we do?...We began to use our own understanding and logic towards obedience to God. We reasoned that God wouldn't want us to just up and go. Besides, our Member Care told us to raise the necessary funds before we go. Why would we defy them?

One day, my wife and I were really feeling a lot of anxiety about all of this. (By the way, this is also a couple of months after we were given our assignment.) So I told her I would go for a long walk and pray, read, or whatever I felt God pressing me to do. Little did I know how God was pressing on my wife to seek from Him.

One of my favorite places to go, is my friends coffee shop. In front of the roastery is a large glass window, with two high-back chairs warming in the streaming sunlight. A perfect place.
After some time, it hit me like a lightning bolt. The title of the chapter I was reading said, "Go until you get a No." I grabbed my stuff and ran out of the shop hurriedly walking toward home. "This is it," I thought. She will read what I read and God will show her just as He had shown me.
I burst into the house, walked into the bedroom, where she was reading, and asked her to read this chapter. I handed her the book, and said "We need to start packing!" I left the room and somehow ended up in front of the television watching a soccer match. Inspiring stuff, I know!!

After a while, she came out of the room and asked if I was ready to discuss the chapter, I had asked her to read. Now I was torn, because the second half of the match had just started, and the game was really good. The more exciting thing was, my wife actually wanted to discuss something I asked her to read. If you know my wife, discussion for her is like painting or folding clothes. She'll do it, but not with much excitement.
I first had to check my pulse to see if I was alive, because this dilemma never presents itself.
When I decided I had better get in there and see what she thought, I went into the room and sat down with a bit of a skeptics emotion.

She began to read me an excerpt from a book she had been reading while I was gone. The story begins with a young woman trying to decide if God wanted her to be married to a young man she had been seeing. She went and spoke to her pastor, and he advised her that God is a green light God. Meaning, if you think you should do something, pray about it, but go in His name. If you are seeking to hear from Him, pray He will give you a red light if what you are doing is out of His will. Watch for yellow lights. This doesn't mean stop, just proceed with caution.
She turned to me, with tears welling up in her eyes, and said; we have to go until we get a no.

So, after a few minutes of shock and awe, we set out on a course for Texas. Only four months after God told us to go, we landed in our new home....for at least a couple of years.

I will finish with a story Jesus tells in Luke chapter 14:

“Yes. For there was once a man who threw a great dinner party and invited many. When it was time for dinner, he sent out his servant to the invited guests, saying, ‘Come on in; the food’s on the table.’

"Then they all began to beg off, one after another making excuses. The first said, ‘I bought a piece of property and need to look it over. Send my regrets.’  

“Another said, ‘I just bought five teams of oxen, and I really need to check them out. Send my regrets.’

“And yet another said, ‘I just got married and need to get home to my wife.’

“The servant went back and told the master what had happened. He was outraged and told the servant, ‘Quickly, get out into the city streets and alleys. Collect all who look like they need a square meal, all the misfits and homeless and wretched you can lay your hands on, and bring them here.’

“The servant reported back, ‘Master, I did what you commanded—and there’s still room.’

“The master said, ‘Then go to the country roads. Whoever you find, drag them in. I want my house full! Let me tell you, not one of those originally invited is going to get so much as a bite at my dinner party.’”

You see, we've all been invited to come. If you don't, there may be an empty seat waiting for you, that will be filled by someone else. If you feel God calling you to something greater than yourself,

 "Go until you get a NO"

Field of Dreams: Peace they lack

As I began to write this series on the movie "Field of Dreams", I never realized the journey I would go on. Much of what I have written has been born out of my personal journey. The heartache of failure, missed opportunities, and friendships that have let me down. Nothing truly prepared me for this journey of redemption.

When you say yes to following something or someone, it always seems to produce in you a loyalty and energy that cannot be derailed. Over time the fire begins to fizzle and you lose heart, at least until something or someone else comes along with the newest and greatest.
We all find ourselves with a longing to belong. A dire need to be a part of something greater than ourselves. Where it gets hard however, is when we realize that thing that we have devoted our lives to, is actually greater than ourselves. We feel overwhelmed and out of control, and we lose heart. Resigned to the fact that greatness has escaped us once more, we put our head down and drudge through life lacking purpose and hope. Looking at every new opportunity through our cynical lens and casting pessimism on anyone who thinks they've found it.
How did this happen? How did we grow for so many years and only progress so little? All is lost.....Right?
As I started the greatest journey of my life, I realized the next greatest thing. Someone or something, had been waiting patiently with His arms wide open. No condemnation, no judgement, no settling for second best, but unconditional love. No strings attached, no effort given to earn it, just freedom.
As a believer in Jesus Christ and the "Good News", I am astonished at how far away I stayed from the truth of the Messiah or what a Savior really meant in my life. Late in my teens, I had said yes to Jesus, and heaven everlasting was my reward. I've done it, I've called upon the name of the Lord, and now I'm saved from the perils of Hell. But did I really believe Jesus wanted more?
I didn't do anything, except say "Yes" when He called my name. On the sound of the breeze He whispered, "Brad....If you build it He will come."
I stepped back with a certain awe and wonder. Could He really be talking to me? What should I do? Why would He speak to me? Doesn't He know the failure I am? Doesn't He know how far away from Him I have fallen? Doesn't He know my past? Isn't He Holy, and pure? Why should He defile His Kingdom with the likes of me?
By all rights as creator God, He could have commanded anything, but with a gentle whisper He said, "If you trust me with everything, I will take care of everything."
Jesus didn't want my feet just inside the protection of heaven, He wanted me to love Him with an unconditional surrender, so that He may give me life.
Soon after saying "yes" to Jesus, those who were the closest to me, became my adversary. Why would they not just love me? Why do they have to oppress me with their judgement? I couldn't see how scared they were.
Change always bring discomfort on those who travel in your comfort zone, because their comfort zone is changed. They can't understand and continue to ridicule. They even attack those who support you because they are scared those people are leading astray. They even begin to think you've brainwashed your kids to believe your lies. It broke my heart. He loves me, but they reject me. Fear is so powerful, it will destroy you if you let it.
Then I heard God whisper gently again, "Ease his pain." What I realized was He said, "This call is not just for you, there are others who lack hope."
So with wide eyes I began to search. What's funny is, He never asked me to do the searching.
Full of confusion and grief, I began to question if I'd been asked to do anything.
Ready to walk away from it all because of the constant rejection and condemnation from others, He whispered again,....."Go the distance." "Don't give up. It's going to get real hard. You're going to have to walk through the fire if you want to be really useful."
Along the way I met many who are on the same journey. Suddenly, I didn't feel so alone. Suddenly, there was hope. Suddenly there were others who found the courage to listen because of me. Really? What did I do?
Oswald Chambers writes in My Utmost for His Highest, that a true Saint will be completely unaware of how God is using them to change the lives of those around them.
In February of 2014 my family was commissioned by Greater Europe Mission to be missionaries to Europe and bring the "Good News" to all the peoples there.
How did this happen? We applied, but my past should have disqualified me, right? What does God want me to do now?

"People will come"

I have taken some liberties with the famous speech by Terence Mann who was portrayed by James Earl Jones, but I think this is the crux of the whole movie for me:

People will come. They'll come to you for reasons they can't even fathom. They'll turn up to hear the message not knowing for sure why they're doing it. They'll walk up to you as innocent as children, longing for peace. Of course, we won't mind if join our story, you'll say. It's only $30 per month. They'll pass over the money without even thinking about it: for it is money they have and peace they lack. And they'll walk out to the Kingdom; sit in shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon. They'll find they have a reserved blanket somewhere along one of the riverbanks, where they sat when they were children and dreamed of their heroes. And they'll feel the love of Christ and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they'll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come. The one constant through all the years, has been Jesus. Humanity has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But Jesus has marked the time. His Kingdom, His love: it's a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good and it could be again. Oh... people will come. People will most definitely come.

Listen closely to the whispers of redemption. God's bigger story. Eden reborn. The Kingdom of God.
Once we understand the importance of standing firm on the decisions we've made, we become galvanized to expect the unexpected. We become determined to never give up.
Archie Graham had gotten his wish of playing against big league pitchers, but now his true calling comes to life when Ray's daughter falls and begins to choke. He rescues Ray's little girl.
Through the tragedy of her injury, Ray's wife's family finally sees the supernatural, and realizes how wrong they were. They become determined as well.
Once they saw the miracle, they become determined to find the means to support any way necessary.
But more often then not, families never make it this far. Many never support the call of God that you feel so convicted to follow.
Henri Nouwen writes in his book "Making All Things New":

"To set our hearts on the Kingdom therefore means to make the life of the Spirit within and among us the center of all we think, say, or do."

He then goes on in another book, "A Spirituality of Fundraising", that fundraising is a very concrete way to help the Kingdom of God come about. The Kingdom of God is where He provides for all that we need. It is the realm of sufficiency where we are no longer pulled here and there by anxiety about having enough. Even a seemingly small act of generosity can grow into something far beyond what we could ever ask or imagine.
When you welcome people into this realm of the Kingdom, in a sense, you are giving them the very thing Terence Mann was talking about. "For money they have, and peace they lack."
The Kingdom of God is a collaborative effort of those doing the work, those seeking to be a part, and those supporting out of there God given resources.
Nouwen says, if we raise funds for the creation of a community of love, we are helping God build the Kingdom.
The call to follow God through His whispers has never been about us, it's always been about others. Submitting ourselves in such a way that we become useful for the Kingdom. Note: I didn't say make ourselves useful, but surrendering to our creator so that out of our humility we become a conquering warrior.

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” Acts 1:8

"People will come....."

Feeling a bit overwhelmed?

Sunday, 18th of September 2011, was the culmination of all that I had seen and heard these last few days. Thankfully, I took notes throughout the day and would journal my thoughts every night. If I  had to keep everything in my head, I would've exploded. My head hurt most nights from overload. Writing had become very therapeutic.
That night I couldn't sleep. So many things running through my brain made it impossible to close my eyes. I even went for one of my patented walks to clear my brain. Nothing worked. Although, I did manage to rest a few hours before we had to rise early the next..er same day. I'm not sure what God was weaving into the fabric of my future, but my present was certainly disturbed.
We woke the next day and had to be at the station around 6am to leave from Heathrow Airport around 8am. Our return trip home was around 9 hours, and I was so looking forward to sleep by then.
We arrived back in Kansas City around 10am (weird huh?) and we were on our way back home.
My two friends and I rode back in a sense of reflection. Conversations turned to what next. I remember telling my pastor, "I'm going back! With or without the support of the church!" This took him by surprise I'm sure. I wasn't trying to discard the value of church partnership, but sometimes when you wait on people who hadn't been where you've been, it could be like attending a meeting of the Ents from Lord of the Rings.
I felt so compelled with a sense of urgency, that delay of any type would fizzle whatever God impressed on our hearts. I'm sure being zealous in my personality had a bit of play also.
So, why London? I wont bore you with drab statistics or poll results, but I will tell you why it is important to me.
London is one of the few mega cities, 8.2 million people, where all of the world lives and works together. Over 1.7 million people, claiming English to not be their primary language, cram the streets and transport everyday. My good friend always says, "A whisper in London, is a shout in the world." I believe this capital city is being purposed by God to spread the Gospel farther and deeper than any missionary has been. The phrase has been coined by Greater Europe Mission (www.gemission.org) as "Every nation, one location"
Imagine if one person from the remote parts of Africa were working or attending school in London, and we developed a friendship. We have now earned the right to speak about Christ's salvation, because we started by showing God's love. Now, take that relationship and imagine what happens when that individual returns to their village. I can't contain excitement for what God has done for me, do you think they will be able to either?
The Gospel message is best received by the indigenous reaching the indigenous. So what do they need from us?
People of London and the UK for that matter have come from or even seen terrible things happen right in their proximity. Take Nazi Germany for example, or the Tsunami in southern India, or even the genocide of villagers by warlords in the jungles of Africa; many people are left asking more questions of why than they have answers. This naturally breeds pessimism and distrust. You cant stand on the corner handing out Gospel tracts or hold special tent revivals, because people more and more don't even believe there is a God. Atheism has taken over in Europe and has worked its way into London because of the massive immigrant population from Muslim, Hindu, and other tribal backgrounds.
My American view of England was more like the cover of a Sex Pistols album than what was actually a reality. The trouble is, they don't have any needs like a third world country does. Our American cavalry mindset is no use to these people. As a matter of fact, they perceive us to be "comfortable consumers" or fat and lazy. What could we possibly bring they don't have or don't want?
Love....What a concept? It's been said that a Brit would never travel 4,000 miles just to hear the story of someone else. They aren't even confident the church is relevant.
We, as Americans, have a "Can-do" spirit and are visionary people. I believe that's where we have cornered the market in the world. However, we have been so closed off and provincial in our thinking, the world has taken notice. Our pride in the "American way" tends to overshadow God's global vision for making disciples, and quite frankly our attitude has made the Gospel unattractive.
So what can you do? First, pray for His eyes to see and His ears to hear. Pray for His will to be done in your life. Pray for wisdom and discernment over the things revealed. Next, buy a ticket somewhere other than North America, somewhere that will take you out of your comfort, and be displaced with a total dependency on Him. Last, be willing to do whatever He asks, no matter the cost to you personally.  (Mark 10:17-27)
Hang on to Him, because it will be the ride of your life.