Will you be my filter?

Early in my life, I learned who to trust and who not to trust. Grandpa was always the one you had to watch. My grandpa would always lean over during church and ask me strange questions like, "Do you have a dry pocket?" I never understood this question to have any solution to his next statement, which was, "cause I gotta go pee." I'm not sure why he thought this was funny, but it made me laugh.
Or maybe it was the uncle who claimed by grabbing the tip of my nose, he had stolen my nose completely. What ever the reasons people use in teasing children, we always knew Mom or Dad was trustworthy.
We could find comfort in their advice about life, girls, or how a spanking hurts them more than it did me.
This was a perfectly acceptable way to function when we were children, but most of us reading this are not children anymore. Most of us have families of our own. So, why do we still function this way. It's as if we still believe someone is always going to make all the tough decisions.
Paul addresses this very issue in his letter to the Corinthians:

"When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things." 1 Cor 13:11

I think most of us, including myself, have never got away from this thinking. When we got married, we either elevated our spouse to the Holy place or we kept our previous counselor as our Holy filter.

Every Christian marriage counselor will tell you that your marriage is like a triangle, with God on top and you and your spouse on the opposite corners. This triangle tends to be difficult in most marriages. The premise is that each of you should focus on God and God will draw you together. This proves difficult if you are still operating with your Holy filter. Even though your marriage may be close, someone is always dictating your decision making.
The breakdown is that most of the people given the authority of the Holy filter haven't realized they have been placed there. What happens when we take their advice and it fails? Certainly they are to blame, right?
This is what I call the "Adam and Eve Complex".

"The man replied, 'It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.'" Gen 3:12

As we learn from the scripture, Adam blamed Eve for causing his failure. How many of us seek the advice from others, just to blame them when it does't work.
As a child we always had the dumb kid in our circle of friends. This kid was the one we would pressure to try it first. If this doesn't sound familiar to you, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it.
When we got older, somehow we still find someone to carry the burden of blame when life doesn't work out. By seeking wisdom from someone else with complete trust that they would advise us with our best decision in any situation, we are actually causing them to be accountable to a decision that is not theirs to make.
Too many times in the church we operate the same way. Our pastor is our divine filter of God, this way we can blame him when things go bad.

"It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble." Luke 17:2

Jesus is very serious about causing a child to sin. He says it's better that you were to die than to cause a child to fall. Have you ever thought maybe he wasn't referring to the age of the child, but those who think and act as a child?
This could be me. If I still seek advice from others before moving forward in obedience to what God has said, I am clearly still using that person as my Holy filter. What God desires, is that we draw from Him alone as the decision maker in our life.
When we draw energy from people, who are flawed and linear in their vision, we run short of resource. But, when we draw from the resources of our everlasting Father, the author and perfect of our faith, all-knowing, all-seeing, creator God; we are filled with an energy that refreshes us like the cool waters from a fountain.

What begins to change, is our trusted friends, pastors, teachers, and spouse; begin to be co-laborers in our walk with the Lord. The pressure of giving us critical advice is released, and they begin to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with us in our struggles.
Don't hear me as saying the burden of decision falls solely upon us. Quite contrary. God moves into the drivers seat of our lives and the tough decisions begin to seem effortless. They don't go away, but when we take the hand of our Heavenly Father, He begins to light our path. He promises us that in scripture.

"I am the way and the truth and the life....." John 14:6

What frustrates me the most, is that God never makes the decisions or tells me His decisions when I want to hear it. Erwin McManus writes in his book, "Chasing Daylight", that what we want is a map and God gives us a compass.
The only way you can produce things of God is to completely surrender all of your ways and thoughts to Him. It isn't until we get out of the way and submit to His authority in our lives can He begin to work.

 "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matt 11:30

His ways are not difficult. As a matter of fact, His ways are quite simple, but make no mistake about it, they are not easy.
I'm reminded of my favorite quote from A.W. Tozer:

“The reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven't yet come to the end of themselves. We're still trying to give orders, and interfering with God's work within us.”

Will you trust Him? Will you follow? 

Have you seen this place?

It was in the year King Uzziah died that I saw the Lord. He was sitting on a lofty throne, and the train of his robe filled the Temple. ² Attending him were mighty seraphim, each having six wings. With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they flew. ³ They were calling out to each other,

“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of Heaven’s Armies!
    The whole earth is filled with his glory!”

⁴ Their voices shook the Temple to its foundations, and the entire building was filled with smoke.

⁵ Then I said, “It’s all over! I am doomed, for I am a sinful man. I have filthy lips, and I live among a people with filthy lips. Yet I have seen the King, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.”

⁶ Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a burning coal he had taken from the altar with a pair of tongs.⁷ He touched my lips with it and said, “See, this coal has touched your lips. Now your guilt is removed, and your sins are forgiven.”

Isaiah 6:1-7

Last Sunday, I was feeling pretty tired from the night before, and I was really not in the mood to be at church. My pillow sounded better, but I had committed to be a part of leading worship that morning.
After rehearsal that morning, I just couldn't get motivated, and the coffee wasn't helping either. I felt myself actually a bit irritable.
A few years ago, I remember hearing Francis Chan speak about a multi-day conference he was asked to speak at. By the third day, he noticed one of the worship leaders had a consistent fire about how she worshiped. He had to know her secret, so he asked. She told him her prayer was for God to not just give her a repeat of a great worship experience, but that He would give her something she had never felt before. He was reminded how many times we've experienced God and we are content to reflect and dwell rather than seek a fresh wind or fresh fire.
Well, that was me. Let me tell you, that wasn't going to cut it. So I drifted off to some room behind the sanctuary and spent some time praying. I asked God for a new experience, something I had never had, because today was going to need it.
If you've never been given the opportunity to lead a congregation of people in song, it can be quite challenging. Not only are you dealing with your own self-pride and humility, but you are dealing with the importance of not being transparent. People are moved by authenticity and if you feel like death warmed over, that produces an issue.
After praying, I could feel my energy beginning to gain momentum, or a great caffeine buzz. We sang a couple of songs, and then we began one of the most overplayed pieces that just produces a going-through-the-motions style of worship, "Revelation Song."
The basis of the entire song is found in Isaiah 6 or Revelation 4, and it speaks of being in the throne room of God. There is a part of the song that just hit me like never before:

"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty
Who was and is and is to come
With all creation I sing praise to the King of kings
You are my everything and I will adore You"

When I got to the part of "...You are my everything and I will adore You," I lost it. When I say lost it, I mean broken. I was crying so much I could even sing. It came out of nowhere, and all I could do was beg for forgiveness and just weep. Why?
I came home that afternoon reflecting on what had just happened, still a bit stunned I tried to tell my wife, and started crying again. What is my problem...geesh?!
The next day God brought Isaiah 6 to my mind and I reflected on the part where Isaiah said,

“It’s all over! I am doomed, for I am a sinful man. I have filthy lips, and I live among a people with filthy lips. Yet I have seen the King, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.”

So, I suppose the new experience God wanted for me that morning, was found in His throne room.

What an awesome experience! 

Feeling a bit overwhelmed?

Sunday, 18th of September 2011, was the culmination of all that I had seen and heard these last few days. Thankfully, I took notes throughout the day and would journal my thoughts every night. If I  had to keep everything in my head, I would've exploded. My head hurt most nights from overload. Writing had become very therapeutic.
That night I couldn't sleep. So many things running through my brain made it impossible to close my eyes. I even went for one of my patented walks to clear my brain. Nothing worked. Although, I did manage to rest a few hours before we had to rise early the next..er same day. I'm not sure what God was weaving into the fabric of my future, but my present was certainly disturbed.
We woke the next day and had to be at the station around 6am to leave from Heathrow Airport around 8am. Our return trip home was around 9 hours, and I was so looking forward to sleep by then.
We arrived back in Kansas City around 10am (weird huh?) and we were on our way back home.
My two friends and I rode back in a sense of reflection. Conversations turned to what next. I remember telling my pastor, "I'm going back! With or without the support of the church!" This took him by surprise I'm sure. I wasn't trying to discard the value of church partnership, but sometimes when you wait on people who hadn't been where you've been, it could be like attending a meeting of the Ents from Lord of the Rings.
I felt so compelled with a sense of urgency, that delay of any type would fizzle whatever God impressed on our hearts. I'm sure being zealous in my personality had a bit of play also.
So, why London? I wont bore you with drab statistics or poll results, but I will tell you why it is important to me.
London is one of the few mega cities, 8.2 million people, where all of the world lives and works together. Over 1.7 million people, claiming English to not be their primary language, cram the streets and transport everyday. My good friend always says, "A whisper in London, is a shout in the world." I believe this capital city is being purposed by God to spread the Gospel farther and deeper than any missionary has been. The phrase has been coined by Greater Europe Mission (www.gemission.org) as "Every nation, one location"
Imagine if one person from the remote parts of Africa were working or attending school in London, and we developed a friendship. We have now earned the right to speak about Christ's salvation, because we started by showing God's love. Now, take that relationship and imagine what happens when that individual returns to their village. I can't contain excitement for what God has done for me, do you think they will be able to either?
The Gospel message is best received by the indigenous reaching the indigenous. So what do they need from us?
People of London and the UK for that matter have come from or even seen terrible things happen right in their proximity. Take Nazi Germany for example, or the Tsunami in southern India, or even the genocide of villagers by warlords in the jungles of Africa; many people are left asking more questions of why than they have answers. This naturally breeds pessimism and distrust. You cant stand on the corner handing out Gospel tracts or hold special tent revivals, because people more and more don't even believe there is a God. Atheism has taken over in Europe and has worked its way into London because of the massive immigrant population from Muslim, Hindu, and other tribal backgrounds.
My American view of England was more like the cover of a Sex Pistols album than what was actually a reality. The trouble is, they don't have any needs like a third world country does. Our American cavalry mindset is no use to these people. As a matter of fact, they perceive us to be "comfortable consumers" or fat and lazy. What could we possibly bring they don't have or don't want?
Love....What a concept? It's been said that a Brit would never travel 4,000 miles just to hear the story of someone else. They aren't even confident the church is relevant.
We, as Americans, have a "Can-do" spirit and are visionary people. I believe that's where we have cornered the market in the world. However, we have been so closed off and provincial in our thinking, the world has taken notice. Our pride in the "American way" tends to overshadow God's global vision for making disciples, and quite frankly our attitude has made the Gospel unattractive.
So what can you do? First, pray for His eyes to see and His ears to hear. Pray for His will to be done in your life. Pray for wisdom and discernment over the things revealed. Next, buy a ticket somewhere other than North America, somewhere that will take you out of your comfort, and be displaced with a total dependency on Him. Last, be willing to do whatever He asks, no matter the cost to you personally.  (Mark 10:17-27)
Hang on to Him, because it will be the ride of your life.

Totally messed up

Sleep has eluded me since arriving in London. I find myself either too energized from the day to sleep or too delirious to know I was awake. Most of the day was spent walking from one place to another, so what was another hour or two at night. Outside of our hotel the street made a sort of loop around. I walked many laps that evening talking out loud to God, only to find myself wishing just once to hear His voice. At one point I even prayed "God audibly speak to me, to show me a sign of what I am to do."
 I began to grow frustrated with my life. I didn't seem to fit at my job anymore. I felt God calling me not just to ministry, but to missional living; and I was still reeling from the events earlier that day.
All of a sudden a feeling of peace came over me, and a song entered my thoughts.
Michael English and the Gaither Vocal Band sings a song called "Temporary Home". No, not the Carrie Underwood version. The lyrics go like this:

"Sometimes I feel like I'm just walking along, with my head up in the clouds. I'm steady moving but I'm not gaining ground; heading the wrong way in a crowd. Then I remember I'm not part of this world. I'm moving higher each day. Upward mobility sounds mighty good to me; I just can't wait to get away. 

Got to remember I'm not here to stay; I'm looking forward to a brighter day. Got to remember I'm not here for long; I'm just living in my temporary home.

If you've been bothered by the problems of life, don't you let them get you down. Just look to Jesus and you will not be denied; He'll move you up to higher ground. Don't you forget you're a child of the king; you're an heir to His throne. You may not know just when He's coming back again, but He'll take us to our happy home."

I found myself singing out loud with a huge grin walking late at night on a street in London. People must have thought I had lost it. What I figured out is, what I was feeling was normal for the followers of Jesus.
"And everyone will hate you because you are my followers." Luke 21:17
I was wrapping up my walk when a scripture came to mind. I couldn't place the wording, but I felt the gospel of Luke was where I had seen that verse.
So, I returned to my room and sat down at a desk that was in there, and began to thumb through the pages in search of the scripture verse.
You ever have those moments when other scriptures seemed to jump out at you as you are searching for something else? This is what began to happen. The verses that caught my attention were too good to pass up, so I read them hoping they would lead me to the verse that started my search.
"If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me." Luke 9:23
This was the first verse that caught my attention. I want to be a follower, but what did this mean? I glanced at study notes below:

• This did not mean simply carry a heavy burden, but suffering a violent death by crucifixion. Believers must be completely willing to die to themselves and to live for God, even at the cost of their own lives.

But, that isn't how other Christians live. Is that really necessary?
"I have come to set the world on fire, and I wish it were already burning!" Luke 12:49

• Jesus' ministry radically changed the status quo, bringing judgement on the wicked and purifying the righteous.

I'm frankly tired of status quo. It is said that doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is insanity. I believe it! But God, what about my family? Would they support me? What would my dad say?
"If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison--your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters--yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple." Luke 14:26
Okay, well that answers that question. But my dad has taken ill and I need to stay close. Can I follow you without becoming a missionary?
"Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God." Luke 9:62
Okay, Okay, I hear you, but I have a wife and kids, a job, and a responsibility to them. I can't just walk away.
"No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money." Luke 16:13
Fine, I give up!! God I will do whatever you ask. I'm tired of serving myself and trying to look Christian. I am in.
I remembered I asked God to speak to me in an audible way, so that I may receive a sign.
"... Jesus replied, 'The Kingdom of God can't be detected by visible signs. You won't be able to say, 'Here it is!' or 'it's over there!' For the Kingdom of God is already among you." Luke 17:20-21
What God was really saying to me was, "I said it once and it was recorded in my scriptures, I will not repeat myself."
Is there something God has said to you, but you are too scared to ask questions?
Please let me end with this quote from A.W. Tozer:

"The reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven't yet come to the end of themselves. We are still trying to give orders, and interfering with God's work in us."