You were meant for more....

         In the spring of 2012, the mission began to take shape. Promotional videos and speaking opportunities came throughout the winter months in preparation for the summer Olympic games.
We were commissioned to recruit a team to come alongside a group of churches in London to help capture the momentum building around the games that would be hosted in London, England.
        At a commissioning ceremony and missions banquet, I found myself leading a team of 20 people from central Missouri to totally displace themselves from the context in which they live. God was stirring in each of us a fire that could only be fanned by surrendering to the mission. It all seemed surreal. Just 8 months ago, I was wondering if my life had any purpose, and now I am trying to just hang on. I felt insecure and even doubtful that my role had any significance, but then I heard my friend speak about Gideon.
        In Judges chapter 6, we find Gideon at the bottom of a winepress threshing wheat, because he was afraid the Midianites would find him and take the grain. In verse 12, the angel of the Lord appears to him and calls him "Mighty Warrior!" and tells him "the Lord is with you!"
The question Gideon asks next is one that I find myself wrestling with daily. He asks, "If the Lord is with us, then why has he allowed circumstance to happen to us?" Then the Lord tells Gideon to go with the strength he has and rescue Israel. Naturally, Gideon answers like most of us would. "How can I rescue Israel? My clan is the weakest and I am the least of my clan." Already, Gideon has disqualified himself from being obedient to what the Lord told him to do. Have you ever been there?
       We finish chapter 6 and we see Gideon asking for miraculous signs to prove what he had heard. Not only did he doubt the angel was the Lord, but then he asked God, "If you are truly going to use me to rescue Israel, could you prove it to me?"
I feel, I have seen this before in my own life. It's not enough to trust God in what he says, but we try to trust our understanding of what God says before we act.
       Jump over to chapter 7, and we find Gideon rattled in his trust of God again. In verse 2 Gideon has prepared an army to "rescue Israel" and God comes and tells Gideon that he has too many warriors.
What I find interesting, is that when we finally convince ourselves God will deliver us, we take his promise and figure out how to logically execute it.
God tells Gideon to reduce his army because he didn't want the people of Israel to boast that they saved themselves by their own strength.
First of all, this is typical of us. We allow circumstance to wreak havoc over us day in and day out, but when God tells us to take action against our circumstance, we find ways to defeat it on our own power. Then we rest in the fact that WE earned the victory.
         In verse 7 we find that God had whittled the army from 32,000 down to 300 men. We find out later Gideon's men would face the armies of Midian, Amalek, and the people from the east; which were like "grains of sand on the seashore-too many to count!"
God sorted the men by different ways, but what he wanted were those who had FOCUS on the promise, not FEAR of the unknown.

"For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him."  2 Chronicles 16:9

       What I learned that spring day, was God sees in YOU what you didn't see yourself. A dream he placed in you long before you were "knitted in your mother's womb." He wants you to trust him with your very life.

"For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him."  Colossians 1:16

       Your life is waiting to be activated by God, so that you may truly live. He wants you to have life and more abundantly than you could ever imagine.
God is looking for a crowd to "rescue his children", but he always starts with one. Don't get lost in the crowd and become another face. Don't disqualify yourself because the world has told you that you have no worth. A wildfire only needs a spark to ignite the forest. Live your life as a spark or as a smoldering ember. Never count yourself as worthless to God, for his Word tells us:

  ^"I can do all this through him who gives me strength."  Philippians 4:13

Feeling a bit overwhelmed?

Sunday, 18th of September 2011, was the culmination of all that I had seen and heard these last few days. Thankfully, I took notes throughout the day and would journal my thoughts every night. If I  had to keep everything in my head, I would've exploded. My head hurt most nights from overload. Writing had become very therapeutic.
That night I couldn't sleep. So many things running through my brain made it impossible to close my eyes. I even went for one of my patented walks to clear my brain. Nothing worked. Although, I did manage to rest a few hours before we had to rise early the next..er same day. I'm not sure what God was weaving into the fabric of my future, but my present was certainly disturbed.
We woke the next day and had to be at the station around 6am to leave from Heathrow Airport around 8am. Our return trip home was around 9 hours, and I was so looking forward to sleep by then.
We arrived back in Kansas City around 10am (weird huh?) and we were on our way back home.
My two friends and I rode back in a sense of reflection. Conversations turned to what next. I remember telling my pastor, "I'm going back! With or without the support of the church!" This took him by surprise I'm sure. I wasn't trying to discard the value of church partnership, but sometimes when you wait on people who hadn't been where you've been, it could be like attending a meeting of the Ents from Lord of the Rings.
I felt so compelled with a sense of urgency, that delay of any type would fizzle whatever God impressed on our hearts. I'm sure being zealous in my personality had a bit of play also.
So, why London? I wont bore you with drab statistics or poll results, but I will tell you why it is important to me.
London is one of the few mega cities, 8.2 million people, where all of the world lives and works together. Over 1.7 million people, claiming English to not be their primary language, cram the streets and transport everyday. My good friend always says, "A whisper in London, is a shout in the world." I believe this capital city is being purposed by God to spread the Gospel farther and deeper than any missionary has been. The phrase has been coined by Greater Europe Mission (www.gemission.org) as "Every nation, one location"
Imagine if one person from the remote parts of Africa were working or attending school in London, and we developed a friendship. We have now earned the right to speak about Christ's salvation, because we started by showing God's love. Now, take that relationship and imagine what happens when that individual returns to their village. I can't contain excitement for what God has done for me, do you think they will be able to either?
The Gospel message is best received by the indigenous reaching the indigenous. So what do they need from us?
People of London and the UK for that matter have come from or even seen terrible things happen right in their proximity. Take Nazi Germany for example, or the Tsunami in southern India, or even the genocide of villagers by warlords in the jungles of Africa; many people are left asking more questions of why than they have answers. This naturally breeds pessimism and distrust. You cant stand on the corner handing out Gospel tracts or hold special tent revivals, because people more and more don't even believe there is a God. Atheism has taken over in Europe and has worked its way into London because of the massive immigrant population from Muslim, Hindu, and other tribal backgrounds.
My American view of England was more like the cover of a Sex Pistols album than what was actually a reality. The trouble is, they don't have any needs like a third world country does. Our American cavalry mindset is no use to these people. As a matter of fact, they perceive us to be "comfortable consumers" or fat and lazy. What could we possibly bring they don't have or don't want?
Love....What a concept? It's been said that a Brit would never travel 4,000 miles just to hear the story of someone else. They aren't even confident the church is relevant.
We, as Americans, have a "Can-do" spirit and are visionary people. I believe that's where we have cornered the market in the world. However, we have been so closed off and provincial in our thinking, the world has taken notice. Our pride in the "American way" tends to overshadow God's global vision for making disciples, and quite frankly our attitude has made the Gospel unattractive.
So what can you do? First, pray for His eyes to see and His ears to hear. Pray for His will to be done in your life. Pray for wisdom and discernment over the things revealed. Next, buy a ticket somewhere other than North America, somewhere that will take you out of your comfort, and be displaced with a total dependency on Him. Last, be willing to do whatever He asks, no matter the cost to you personally.  (Mark 10:17-27)
Hang on to Him, because it will be the ride of your life.

On the road to the "Theatre of Dreams"

Sunday, September 18th 2011, will always be one of those days you just never forget. Before I step into "it" big time, I need to tell you that this was the day of my wife's birthday. I was in London, so I believed I was exempt. She's is a wonderful lady to forgive me for being gone, but remember she told me to go.
That morning we met our friend at a local car hire to get our transportation for the day. After finding which credit card could book the rental, we were off. Five guys jammed into a Volkswagen Golf. I was fortunate enough to get the front passenger seat. As I told you before, I am over six feet and my legs start at my neck, so this was sure to be an uncomfortable excursion.
I've never ridden in a car whilst in London. Being on the left side of the car, traveling on the left side of the road, and not having a steering wheel in front of me, was fairly odd feeling.
We began to navigate our way out of London, which took every bit of 45 minutes, and we were on our way to Manchester!! This is about a four hour journey.
On our way we stopped at a services station for a coffee and a bit of a stretch. We piled out of the car, and I couldn't help hearing sounds of a calliope in my head as if we were seeing the clowns at a circus. Of course anytime you cram five grown men into a space no bigger than a Jacuzzi, it makes for great entertainment.
Soon we were back on the road to continue our trip. Since I had a long trip ahead, I thought I would use this time to ask a few more questions from my new friend. He was trapped behind the wheel of the car, so he seemed fair game.
We discussed more about assembling mission teams and requirements to do so, but then our conversation turned more philosophical.
I've always prided myself on having answers to most questions or at least having some intelligence to produce a decent debate, but the next question he asked me had me stumped.
"What is the definition of discipleship?" he asked. Well I've been raised in church all my life, this question seems too easy. "Sunday School or Bible Study." I answered. WRONG!
So let's do some homework and see what it means for our self.

• Let's breakdown the word "discipleship" into two words. According to Merriam-Webster's Dictionary, disciple means one who accepts and assists in spreading the doctrines of another. The second half of the word, -ship means someone showing, exhibiting, or embodying a quality of another.
• Check out an article by Bob Deffinbaugh:http://bible.org/seriespage/discipleship-its-definitions-and-dangers-matthew-231-12, it is written well to address this question.

My friend gave me a definition that I will never forget. "It means to come with" he said. Then he began to tell me a very familiar story, and it is one which this blog is based on.
There is a story of a young lady trapped in an unfamiliar land. All she wanted to do was to get back home. She met some strange people while in this land that was definitely not like where she was from. There, she was told to go see the wizard and he would know what to do to help with her problem. All she needed to do was to follow the path marked out in front of her. She didn't know how long it would take or even where it would take her, but she knew it would eventually lead to the wizard.
Along the way she would meet some friends, all of whom seemed strangely familiar, and were in need of help. She couldn't help, but she knew someone who could. So she asked them to "come with" her to the wizard and he would know what to do.
I'm sure by now you've figured this to be the story of Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz. What a beautiful picture of discipleship. I had seen a lot of strangely familiar faces while in London, some that shared my story.
While there, I had learned the Gospel is more about loving people where they are; listening to their stories and telling them the story of one who cares for them the most. How did it ever become some sales pitch or bait and switch pressure tactic? I was fed up with that nonsense. This comparison was like fresh wind in my sail. What a time this has been already. Wow!!
Finally, we arrived in Manchester. As we drove into the city we saw crowds all walking towards the same direction. I believe they were going the same place we were trying to get to, Old Trafford Stadium (the Theatre of Dreams).
That Sunday, we decided to worship alongside 75,000 of our closest friends and cheer on the Manchester United football club!! Okay, so not really God inspired, but worship nonetheless.
I had never seen a soccer match in person, nor had I even considered it a REAL sport. As I was ushered to my seat, like scales falling from my eyes, I was hooked. What a match it was.
Manchester United v. Chelsea is a great rivalry and a tough competition. It was like watching the New York Yankees v. Los Angeles Dodgers in a playoff atmosphere. Simply thrilling!!
I had no idea at the time, but that little random event in my life, showed me the best entry point into any conversation around the world. In America, it is the local MLB or NFL team, but in the rest of the world it's soccer. I realized if I am ever going to meet people where they are and earn the right to share Christ WITH them, I need to take an interest in what is important TO them. As my friend often says, God is clever.
Our return trip to London had less conversation and more reflection, I think. Probably because we were so exhausted. Although, the next story I heard changed my view on ministry in ways I never thought possible. Just like soccer, coffee is also a great vehicle to engage people with the Gospel. More to come on that.....

Totally messed up

Sleep has eluded me since arriving in London. I find myself either too energized from the day to sleep or too delirious to know I was awake. Most of the day was spent walking from one place to another, so what was another hour or two at night. Outside of our hotel the street made a sort of loop around. I walked many laps that evening talking out loud to God, only to find myself wishing just once to hear His voice. At one point I even prayed "God audibly speak to me, to show me a sign of what I am to do."
 I began to grow frustrated with my life. I didn't seem to fit at my job anymore. I felt God calling me not just to ministry, but to missional living; and I was still reeling from the events earlier that day.
All of a sudden a feeling of peace came over me, and a song entered my thoughts.
Michael English and the Gaither Vocal Band sings a song called "Temporary Home". No, not the Carrie Underwood version. The lyrics go like this:

"Sometimes I feel like I'm just walking along, with my head up in the clouds. I'm steady moving but I'm not gaining ground; heading the wrong way in a crowd. Then I remember I'm not part of this world. I'm moving higher each day. Upward mobility sounds mighty good to me; I just can't wait to get away. 

Got to remember I'm not here to stay; I'm looking forward to a brighter day. Got to remember I'm not here for long; I'm just living in my temporary home.

If you've been bothered by the problems of life, don't you let them get you down. Just look to Jesus and you will not be denied; He'll move you up to higher ground. Don't you forget you're a child of the king; you're an heir to His throne. You may not know just when He's coming back again, but He'll take us to our happy home."

I found myself singing out loud with a huge grin walking late at night on a street in London. People must have thought I had lost it. What I figured out is, what I was feeling was normal for the followers of Jesus.
"And everyone will hate you because you are my followers." Luke 21:17
I was wrapping up my walk when a scripture came to mind. I couldn't place the wording, but I felt the gospel of Luke was where I had seen that verse.
So, I returned to my room and sat down at a desk that was in there, and began to thumb through the pages in search of the scripture verse.
You ever have those moments when other scriptures seemed to jump out at you as you are searching for something else? This is what began to happen. The verses that caught my attention were too good to pass up, so I read them hoping they would lead me to the verse that started my search.
"If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me." Luke 9:23
This was the first verse that caught my attention. I want to be a follower, but what did this mean? I glanced at study notes below:

• This did not mean simply carry a heavy burden, but suffering a violent death by crucifixion. Believers must be completely willing to die to themselves and to live for God, even at the cost of their own lives.

But, that isn't how other Christians live. Is that really necessary?
"I have come to set the world on fire, and I wish it were already burning!" Luke 12:49

• Jesus' ministry radically changed the status quo, bringing judgement on the wicked and purifying the righteous.

I'm frankly tired of status quo. It is said that doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is insanity. I believe it! But God, what about my family? Would they support me? What would my dad say?
"If you want to be my disciple, you must hate everyone else by comparison--your father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters--yes, even your own life. Otherwise, you cannot be my disciple." Luke 14:26
Okay, well that answers that question. But my dad has taken ill and I need to stay close. Can I follow you without becoming a missionary?
"Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God." Luke 9:62
Okay, Okay, I hear you, but I have a wife and kids, a job, and a responsibility to them. I can't just walk away.
"No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money." Luke 16:13
Fine, I give up!! God I will do whatever you ask. I'm tired of serving myself and trying to look Christian. I am in.
I remembered I asked God to speak to me in an audible way, so that I may receive a sign.
"... Jesus replied, 'The Kingdom of God can't be detected by visible signs. You won't be able to say, 'Here it is!' or 'it's over there!' For the Kingdom of God is already among you." Luke 17:20-21
What God was really saying to me was, "I said it once and it was recorded in my scriptures, I will not repeat myself."
Is there something God has said to you, but you are too scared to ask questions?
Please let me end with this quote from A.W. Tozer:

"The reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven't yet come to the end of themselves. We are still trying to give orders, and interfering with God's work in us."

What have I got myself in to now?

After convincing myself I had to go, I began the process of fundraising for my trip. Yuck! I begged from my usual sources (family) and God was faithful through their generosity. Within a matter of weeks I was boarding a plane for, what would be a first of many trips overseas. This was a real adventure. I am 6'4" and rather lanky, so flying always presents some concessions on my part. If you have never been seated in the middle of five seats on a 747 for nine hours, you have never really lived.
Upon arriving in London, and regaining feeling in my legs, I had a brand new nervousness awaiting me. I had never had to go through a border check point before, and at 6:30 in the morning, I'm not sure I was ready. Anxiously I approached the attendant and promptly said the biggest fopaux you could've said. "Why are you here?" asked the attendant. "I'm here to do mission work." Pardon? Do work? Thankfully my pastor spoke up and said we were meeting a friend who was a local missionary to do some spiritual exploration, or something like that. Whew! we're in. Lesson learned for me, but how do we keep our integrity if we only tell half truths?
"A fool's lips walk into a fight,and his mouth invites a beating." Proverbs 18:6
Needless to say, we collected our luggage and were on board my favorite mode of transportation, the London Underground or the Tube.
We had about a 45 minute ride to our stop, and I was geeking out. My eyes were roaming all around the train, listening to the buzz of the morning rush. I tried to fit in like a local, but I believe my stack of luggage gave way to me being another American tourist that was just let out.
We arrived at the Highbury/Islington station and wandered in the wrong direction for about 15 minutes until we realized our missteps. After being kindly redirected by some local folks, we finally arrived at our destination. We had a short rest and then we were off again.
We met a friend at King's Cross station who would be our tour guide for the week, little did I know how this friend would shape my life. Having never met him before, I had know idea what I was in for.
While I was walking and eyes-wide-open looking around, I couldn't help but hum a few songs from Mary Poppins. This place was simply magical. I had never had a place or a people impact me this way. It was if I had stumbled into the living room on Christmas morning and discovered all of my favorite things. Could it get any better?
One of my first anxiety attacks came when we had decided on lunch. Upon walking into a small Italian cafe, I discovered there weren't any prices to be found. I am a trained monkey who eats at McDonald's. Where are the value meals? Where is the Dollar menu? Not only was this stressful, but I had scraped together enough money just get to England, let alone spend any money. This was my first taste of what was to come. No worries(a phrase I picked up), God's got this.
"If He leads you to it, He will lead you through it." Phil 1:6
I spent most of the day asking questions about what it was we were doing, why the mission was so important, and where are we going. I was taking notes all day. It was almost as if I had stepped into a mobile lecture hall.
I'm told that if you stay up all day and go to bed with the people of the current country you are in, you will avoid jet lag. That would have worked, but after my first day I was so excited I couldn't fall asleep.
Loads of meetings and conversations took place the first day, and I was alone in my room trying to process all that I had seen and heard. Finally after doing some recap journaling, I was able to rest. It was almost as if I had to pull it out of my brain and write it done, so I could fill it back up the next day.

There has to be more to life than this, right?

Around July of 2011, I was asking that very question. I had just finished what was a very successful year in business. I was asked to take on more in my work and relocate to a new town. All the while, I was feeling a bit empty. My wife and I went to Alexandria, Louisiana to explore what later became a defining moment in our life. On the last day we sat across from each other at this little diner, which had become our favorite hangout. We both felt something wasn't right about this opportunity. We went back home and declined to go through with it. Well this left me with an utter discontent.
After hearing a great sermon on fasting, I felt compelled to enter into a media fast. I absurdly asked my entire family to cut out television, internet, video games, for at least 40 days; I am proud to say we lasted 14. Now before you judge our resolve, we found it really difficult at first. I remember telling my wife, "I now know what it is like to be dependent on something." I was even craving it like it was air or something. My wife did a wonderful job keeping my distraction with card playing or long walks. I even tried to journal my thoughts during the fast, but I am a baby when it comes to using such primitive tools as a pen and paper.
After my brain passed through entertainment detox, I realized how loud God was screaming at me. It was almost as if my life had been filled with white noise, and about day 14 I found the off button. God was telling me the answer to my question, but I was too busy in my world to listen.
In Luke 9:24, Jesus was teaching the crowds about discipleship. In this verse He states, "If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it."
That scripture was what He was trying to get through to me. I just wish I hadn't wandered around for so long on my own trying to figure it all out.
I had been raised in church all my life, so this wasn't an unfamiliar passage. However, I wasn't real good at giving up control unless it logically made sense.
After I responded with a "Fine! I'm done! I give up!", He said I was to quit my job and go into full-time ministry. Of course this brought on a ton of questions, many which I couldn't answer. I met with my pastor the following week, and he had advised me to stay at my job. He felt I had a mission field at my work, and I could pastor my employees. This answer didn't sit well with me either.
I had lived my life my way for so long, my wife was so fed up with my selfish decisions, that even she couldn't help. So I went back to my pastor, and restated what I thought was God's message, and he didn't know how to help me. I was so frustrated!! Isn't this what pastors get trained for? After meeting several more times with him, he told me of a vision trip to London, England. Our church was going to explore mission opportunities over there. He told me he didn't have any answers for me but maybe God would show me on this trip. Well  just great!! Not only did I receive little clarity, but now I have to travel 4,000 miles to get it.
That afternoon, I sat down with my wife and told her what had happened. I asked what she thought about me going to London. I nearly fell out of my chair when her response was, "I think you should go."
God never asks you to do something that He hasn't already prepared the way for you to go. All He requires is one step in front of the other. Let Him order your steps, and guide your path.
"Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path." Psalm 119:105