Walking on broken glass...

"--Watchman Nee, one of the great Chinese pastors of the 20th century, ministered to a growing church in China during a period of persecution just like this -- the communist government would send spies to his church to make sure that he wasn't preaching anything against the government -- and in their eyes, preaching Christ as Lord and Ruler of everything was treason against the government
-- so one Sunday, Watchman Nee didn't say a word -- he just grabbed a glass of water off the table and looked like he was trying to crush it with his hands -- he started shaking it and shaking it and all the water spilled out -- finally, he threw it on the ground and it shattered -- and then he took his heel and ground it against the glass -- breaking it up into smaller and smaller parts -- and then he ended the service and sent everyone home
-- the government spies didn't have a clue what had just happened -- but the true believers did -- the government of China was trying to stamp out Christianity -- but every time they tried to destroy a church by crushing it with their heel -- it didn't go away -- it just spread into more and more pieces and it grew and grew and grew -- just like the glass in Watchman Nee's sermon delivered without words
-- this is exactly what happened with the persecuted church represented by the church at Smyrna -- the more Satan tried to persecute them and wipe them off the face of the earth, the stronger they became and the more the message spread." -Excerpt taken from blog by Gregory; pastor of Koinonia Ministries, Valdosta, Georgia Imagine

     I asked this question to my family the other day: "Would you give up your life to save twenty people?" After giving it a think, they all agreed they would. Later that night, I asked my wife, "Would you give up your life to save your children?" Without hesitation, she agreed she would. Then I pondered the answers that were given, and then asked myself, "Would I give up MY life for just one other person?"
     These were questions that never plagued our Lord Jesus. The only thing that grieved Him was the matter in which He would have to make the sacrifice. One thing is for sure, He was about His Father's business, redemption. Can we find confidence in ourselves to be about our Father's business? I would argue, we cannot. Only because of the Atonement, or sacrifice of Christ, can we begin to embark on such a noble undertaking.
     Recently, my family and I took a faith step by moving six hundred miles from what we call home to the Dallas, Texas area. The missionary agency we are with, Greater Europe Mission, had given us a directive to go and serve with our Mobilization office there. This is a faith step because we had no place to live and no income to sustain us once we arrived. We live and survive on the shoulders of  ministry partners that support our family financially, so we can do the work God has instructed us to do. We are very early in our partnership development so our level of support has not reached a level to sustain us. Many people would recommend we just get regular jobs until the support catches up. Sounds completely logical and responsible. What we weren't told was, what do you do if God has called you to live differently?
     Living counter-culturally is like heading the wrong way in a crowd. You know your steadily moving, but you feel you're not gaining ground. Living by faith and complete dependence on God is much like this. Please don't hear me to say God calls all believers to live this way, this is just the path He has chosen for our family.
     We know in Luke 12:22, Jesus tells us "...not to worry about everyday life - whether you have enough food to eat or enough clothes to wear." He even goes on to compare us to the ravens and the lilies and how they grow. He says in vs. 28 "...if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?" I'll tell you why, because those who you believe to love you the most, don't understand this when it comes to those they love. Trusting God takes all of the control and security out our hands and puts it in His. We falter because we love too much.
    In John 3:20-21, Jesus addresses the other kind of people that would try to condemn you for living counter-culturally. He says "...all who do evil hate the light and refuse to go near it for fear their sins will be exposed. But those who do what is right come to the light so others can see that they are doing what God wants." In other words, if you trust God with complete surrender and reckless abandonment, be ready to be rejected and persecuted. Be careful, however, to look beyond their condemnation. In most cases, they love too much as well.
    Fear is the deceiver's greatest weapon against the Good News of Jesus. Fear can cripple an entire nation and cause rebellion against peace. Fear can divide families and destroy children. Fear can produce complete disobedience to our creator in order to please His created.
    First Peter 4:12 says, "We should not be surprised when suffering comes. Believers who live a counter-cultural lifestyle in obedience to God should expect the culture to respond with hostility. We should expect mockery, discrimination, trumped-up charges, and even violence."
    C.S. Lewis in his book, Mere Christianity, addresses, what I think, is the core of why "bad things" happen to good people. He writes, "...One of the things that surprised me when I first read the New Testament seriously, was that it talked so much about a Dark Power in the universe - a mighty evil spirit who was held to be the Power behind death and disease, and sin."
    So as we go back to our original question in light of what we know in scripture and what we know from the message from Watchman Nee, we gain an understanding of our persecution. We derive a purpose of the tolerance of "bad things". Jesus was the chief of experiencing "bad things" in His death on a Roman crucifix, but out of his suffering came redemption for the world, especially when He defeated death and sin by being resurrected by the Holy Spirit three days later.
    The point is, when we suffer at the hand of this world because of our obedience to God, we are more like Jesus in His sufferings. That's much different than any prosperity gospel or tidy comfortable Christianity. Nevertheless, as we are believers, expect trouble. If you've made a nice life avoiding it, I would challenge you to listen more closely and obey. Jesus' brother James, makes it very clear in his writings to believers in 4:4, "You adulterers! Don't you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God."
    I can honestly say, because I love and hope for everyone who reads this; if I face ridicule, judgment, hostility, and even death, for the sake that others may know our Savior Jesus Christ, it was not done in vain. May grace and peace be upon you.

"So if you are suffering in a manner that pleases God, keep on doing what is right, and trust your lives to the God who created you, for He will never fail you."

1 Peter 4:19

 

A soldier returns home.

    When your life's story is wrought with tragedy and violence, your view tends to be jaded. When you experience the hell of war and conflict, peace seems uncomfortable. When you step out of yourself and gaze upon what you have become, it no longer seems natural to press on to business as usual.

    How does a person become re-assimilated or re-engaged to the life that surrounds them? How do you begin to function in the light of what was witnessed? How do you live a life that is void of cynicism and pessimism, when all you've had was pain? These are just some of the questions I find myself asking.

   It's true, I've never lived in the ghettos of society or faced death as an everyday occurrence. It's true, I've never seen combat or war ravage families and neighborhoods in my life. It's also true, that my provincial life was only exposed to the atrocities of poverty, war, and bloodshed; when I chose to watch it on the television or read it in the newspaper. It's true, my life has no right to claim any knowledge of these things, but I can claim a first hand knowledge of a life wrecked by selfish, self-righteous, arrogance. I know what is like to stand in the places where many lives were taken so that I may experience freedom. I know what it is like to be humbled and broken by the understanding of true love. I write these reflections as a passion for others to hear about my life and the power of redemption. For, I know what it was to be lost....praise the Lord Jesus Christ, I've been found!!

    In a recent article published by the Electronic Journal of Negotiation, Conflict Resolution, and Peacebuilding-NCRP (http://www.ejournalncrp.org/problems-of-combat-veterans-transitioning-to-civilian-life/)

One in 10 prison inmates are U.S. combat veterans, male veterans are more likely to serve time for violent offenses compared with non-veterans, and male veterans make up 33% of the homeless population nationwide. These alarming statistics demonstrate a clear need to investigate the problems combat veterans experience when transitioning to civilian life. 

   The study focused on 6 participants that included U.S. combat veterans, 18 years or older, who have engaged in combat in OEF/OIF and have transitioned to civilian living.   

All six participants described the value of having the support of fellow combat veterans with whom the participant had served. One reason given was the opportunity presented to share experiences of similar adversity, which contributed to the ability to be sensitive to one another’s emotional states. Also, the bonds forged in combat were described as being so strong that the combat veterans continued to depend upon each other for support upon return to civilian life. Other reasons given for the importance of peer support included the open lines of communication and the shared goals of moving forward beyond their shared military experience. As expressed by James Bond,

 “Having a good friend that was in the military with me…we were able to help each other with our time and resources, and we were able to find other people…[accepting] us and…help us to heal…” 

     In other words, we need each other. We don't need to have ALL the answers, we just need to walk together on the road to the One who does.
Discipleship is more than sitting in a group and discussing the weekly lesson. Discipleship is defined as "come with."
     As disciples of Christ, scarred by the sin in our life, healed by the redemptive blood of Jesus; we walk alongside brothers and sisters in need. Not just physical needs, because God takes care of those, but emotional needs. We were designed for fellowship; with one another and with our Creator.

    If you want to be re-assimilated or re-engaged to the life that God has set apart for you, you can't go it alone. Life is meant to be shared. We were put here to worship and display the glory of God. This cannot be done whilst living your life in a silo.

    Good News!! You are not alone. Scripture tells us in Romans 3:23,

"For we all have sinned and fallen short of God's glorious standard."

   As I continue my journey to reinitialize, please know that time heals all wounds. God's not through with you yet. 

The best is yet to come.....

Anywhere but there!!

There is a quote that hangs on my refrigerator that I heard back in 2006 at a missions conference. Little did I know how true that quote would become.

"The life you have always dreamed of, lies in the mission you dread." -Dr. John Marshall

When my family and I started this journey on mission, we had a determination to serve God overseas. Our plan was to go and begin what we have always dreamed of in London, England, but God always has other plans.

Our mission agency told us to go to Texas for an intentional step to the field. This would provide growth in our ability to adapt, and strengthen our family and marriage, before we are displaced out of our comfort zone 4,000 miles from home.

When you take the first steps toward seeking God's purpose for your life, you covertly get enrolled in God's comprehensive training. His ways will meander you through your story rather than a straight line. It is very counter-intuitive or uncommon sense, but as you look back through the fire that you just stepped out of, you begin to see clearly what common sense looks like from His perspective. Faith is never produced on a plane ride or a long bus ride to your destination. Faith is always produced in the fiery trials of our life.
God doesn't cause pain and anguish, that happens from our sin and disobedience, but rather uses the pain and circumstance of our life for His purposes.

Each of us begin the journey on our own. God strips away every prop and scaffold that we used to make ourselves sufficient without Him. Once we have been stripped naked of all our pretense and intelligence, God begins to push value into us unlike we have ever heard before.
Being raised in church, I always heard I am "His masterpiece", but I never really believed it. You see, I was more dependent on the evaluation of others, rather than the One who created me.

So, when my family went to our Candidate Orientation to receive our assignments, Texas was certainly not on our radar. Oh sure, Greater Europe Mission has an office in Texas, so maybe that's why God picked that place, but really?..Texas? Why not England?

Never forget this; God won't always give you what you want, but He will always give you what you need.

Texas was the last place I wanted to go. I would've rather been sent to Zimbabwe or India over Texas, but that wasn't God's plan.
In Isaiah 55:8-9 we hear God tell His prophet not to put his ways or thoughts above the thoughts of God.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts..."

So why did we come to Texas? We don't know where we are going to live. We barely know anyone. How will this effect our kids? Did we here God right?

So what did we do?...We began to use our own understanding and logic towards obedience to God. We reasoned that God wouldn't want us to just up and go. Besides, our Member Care told us to raise the necessary funds before we go. Why would we defy them?

One day, my wife and I were really feeling a lot of anxiety about all of this. (By the way, this is also a couple of months after we were given our assignment.) So I told her I would go for a long walk and pray, read, or whatever I felt God pressing me to do. Little did I know how God was pressing on my wife to seek from Him.

One of my favorite places to go, is my friends coffee shop. In front of the roastery is a large glass window, with two high-back chairs warming in the streaming sunlight. A perfect place.
After some time, it hit me like a lightning bolt. The title of the chapter I was reading said, "Go until you get a No." I grabbed my stuff and ran out of the shop hurriedly walking toward home. "This is it," I thought. She will read what I read and God will show her just as He had shown me.
I burst into the house, walked into the bedroom, where she was reading, and asked her to read this chapter. I handed her the book, and said "We need to start packing!" I left the room and somehow ended up in front of the television watching a soccer match. Inspiring stuff, I know!!

After a while, she came out of the room and asked if I was ready to discuss the chapter, I had asked her to read. Now I was torn, because the second half of the match had just started, and the game was really good. The more exciting thing was, my wife actually wanted to discuss something I asked her to read. If you know my wife, discussion for her is like painting or folding clothes. She'll do it, but not with much excitement.
I first had to check my pulse to see if I was alive, because this dilemma never presents itself.
When I decided I had better get in there and see what she thought, I went into the room and sat down with a bit of a skeptics emotion.

She began to read me an excerpt from a book she had been reading while I was gone. The story begins with a young woman trying to decide if God wanted her to be married to a young man she had been seeing. She went and spoke to her pastor, and he advised her that God is a green light God. Meaning, if you think you should do something, pray about it, but go in His name. If you are seeking to hear from Him, pray He will give you a red light if what you are doing is out of His will. Watch for yellow lights. This doesn't mean stop, just proceed with caution.
She turned to me, with tears welling up in her eyes, and said; we have to go until we get a no.

So, after a few minutes of shock and awe, we set out on a course for Texas. Only four months after God told us to go, we landed in our new home....for at least a couple of years.

I will finish with a story Jesus tells in Luke chapter 14:

“Yes. For there was once a man who threw a great dinner party and invited many. When it was time for dinner, he sent out his servant to the invited guests, saying, ‘Come on in; the food’s on the table.’

"Then they all began to beg off, one after another making excuses. The first said, ‘I bought a piece of property and need to look it over. Send my regrets.’  

“Another said, ‘I just bought five teams of oxen, and I really need to check them out. Send my regrets.’

“And yet another said, ‘I just got married and need to get home to my wife.’

“The servant went back and told the master what had happened. He was outraged and told the servant, ‘Quickly, get out into the city streets and alleys. Collect all who look like they need a square meal, all the misfits and homeless and wretched you can lay your hands on, and bring them here.’

“The servant reported back, ‘Master, I did what you commanded—and there’s still room.’

“The master said, ‘Then go to the country roads. Whoever you find, drag them in. I want my house full! Let me tell you, not one of those originally invited is going to get so much as a bite at my dinner party.’”

You see, we've all been invited to come. If you don't, there may be an empty seat waiting for you, that will be filled by someone else. If you feel God calling you to something greater than yourself,

 "Go until you get a NO"

Don't touch the hot burner!!

The other day, my son was attempting to make himself a sandwich. The problem was not with the sandwich, but the location as to which he decided to make it.

I had just boiled some hot dogs for our family for lunch, and I moved the hot pan off of the burner to another cool spot on the range top. 

Our cook top is a smooth glass surface with radiant burners beneath the glass. If you've ever used one of these, you would know that the surface remains quite hot even though the burner is off. They even have a light that shines red as long as the surface is too hot to touch.

Apparently this feature was not evident to my son. He knew the surface was hot, because I had just called them in for lunch, and the pot was still cooling on the stove. What he didn't know was which burner was used.

Even though the light was on to alert him of the incredible heat he will soon feel, he felt compelled to test the validity of the little red light by touching the burner with the palm of his hand.

He claims he only touched the surface for a second, but clearly it was hot enough to cause 2nd degree burns to his palm. 

The funny thing was, we didn't know this had happened until we heard the water running constantly in the bathroom.

My wife asked if he was alright, to which he answered, "I'm okay, I just burned myself.".....this soon sent my wife and I into a bit of panic.

Wouldn't you know it, we were also out of medical supplies to treat such a burn.
As I was reflecting on all of this, God whispered a perspective I didn't expect. My son wasn't sure if the burner was hot, but against all the warning signs, he decided he must know for himself. Most of us are that way with God.
We hear all the time the question, "Why do bad things happen to good people?" To most of us, the answer eludes our thinking. Some of us believe we've been bad and we deserve punishment. Some believe our past is never really far enough away from our circumstance.
If shame is Satan's #1 tool against our relationship with God, then it is "logical" that our sin deserves punishment.
This was true for thousands of years under the Law of Moses, but then God's Son stepped out of His royal power and entered the world as a lowly carpenter. He lived for 33 years, and paid the final bill for our past, present, and future; with His death, burial, and resurrection. His grace and mercy shown on His cross covers a multitude of our sin. Are we then free to sin without consequence? Of course not!!
So why as believers and followers of Jesus Christ do we still feel the pain of our sin? I can't speak to every instance, but for me, I experience pain because I did not listen to the warnings. God never causes our pain(1), that comes from our decisions or the decisions of others. No, God uses our circumstances to produce in us a peculiar glory that He uses for His purposes in our lives.
Even natural disasters are a result of someone who ignored God, and proved it for themselves. Just read the story of Adam and Eve. All of creation has been groaning like pains from childbirth, and decay entered with sin.
Does God shout or blast a warning signal when you are approaching danger? No, He speaks in a whisper.
Why a whisper? A shout or a blast of an alarm seems more appropriate. If He loved us, He wouldn't want to see us harmed, right?......take a moment and ponder that question......that sounds more like a question Satan would ask. (a) Satan asked Eve, "Surely God wouldn't kill you, right?"
First of all, God does not think like us, and He does not react like us.....thank God!! God's love for us is not based on our love for Him....thank God!! God doesn't use our pain to manipulate our need for Him.....thank God!!
When the time comes for you to make a decision, no matter how trivial, God has already made the warning; sometimes we have grown dull to His pleadings. Our selfishness and pride has determined to prove it for ourselves. Even if God did many miraculous signs and wonders, even if He sent messengers after messengers, even if He sent Himself to suffer the penalty of our choices, would we then listen?.....some would, but most would not. We are bombarded with many things begging for our attention and God refuses to compete.
God whispers His love to those who are listening for Him.(b) The fact that we hear from Him is proof of our love and affection for Him. We view this life as the whole, but the truth is, our life is but a vapor in all of eternity(c) Everything that happens in this life is used by God to draw us closer to Him, our creator.
Only through spending time with Him, knowing Him, listening intently, do we begin to see the path He has laid out for us. When trouble comes, we will know it because of a catch in our spirit. Just like a child knows the sound of their mother's voice, so too we learn the voice of the Holy Spirit.

"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”      -Jesus  

John 16:33 

 I love this new song by Shane & Shane, but listen to what John Piper has to say about pain and trouble:

God's Gym

"Dear friends, you always followed my instructions when I was with you. And now that I am away, it is even more important. Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him."

Philippians 2:12-13

      If God owned a gym, I'm sure He would call it something in reference to faith. The Holy Spirit would be your personal trainer, and He would be given a customized training regiment designed to prepare you for the race He has laid out for you.

      As we read the above scripture, we know the apostle Paul was addressing the church in Philippi. The culture during the time period of this letter was that of a prosperous city with and international flair, due to it's strategic location. It was once consider the foremost city in Macedonia.
      Paul new that the infant church there, was certainly being persecuted. He wrote to encourage them in their faith, and to not get caught up in verbal sparring, but to show their faith by being obedient to God.
      Paul's message is still relevant to us today, but we far too often measure ourselves by the people around us. We are always looking at the physical traits of someones faith or we compare ourselves to "the lost", like their sub-human.
      Which is why I've always wondered why they put those huge mirrors up in a gym. They must know, we who are feeble and out-of-shape, are always comparing ourselves to the "Atlas" men and women around us. In some regards, it's rather defeating. We are all guilty of looking at what is seen, so we can feel confident we are doing well. I think Paul knew this about his friends in Philippi.  
 
      Trusting God with your life, means more than saving your skin from eternal judgement. He promises in John 10:10 that "...He came to give us life, and that we may have it more abundantly." What most of us do, is stop there. Then we begin to question "Why?"; Why would He do that for me?
      When sin entered the world, we were all genetically passed on the trait of self-love and self-worship. What we have been tricked to ignore, has been the trait of shame.
     Shame is not necessarily unavoidable, but when we begin to compare ourselves to others or even what Jesus showed us was righteous living, we immediately feel shame.
     Satan is really clever when it comes to this emotion. It doesn't take much of a push to get us steamrolling down this path. All he has to do, is make us doubt.
     Doubt is a good thing, when it causes you to question and seek the truth. It becomes divisive when we allow it to turn to unbelief. That is why Solomon says in Proverbs 3:5-6 to "...lean not on your own understanding." Our minds and our hearts are wicked, genetically.
    So why is it so hard to trust God? Why do I doubt He really cares THAT MUCH for me?

    Let's step away from scripture for a moment, and look at the ginormous industry of fitness and weight-loss.
    One of the main reasons our society is over-weight and out-of-shape is the invention of modern convenience. We are all guilty of justifying our gadgets, cars, favorite fast-food. We may even think up new ways to make easy and quick, quicker and easier.
    What we don't realize, is that we are falling into Satan's hands with our slothful, gluttonous ways. We begin to buy in to the lie that "we deserve it." Then one day we wake up, look in the mirror, and ask "What happened?" Or we take a walk, (foreign concept these days, I know), up a hill or a flight of stairs. We stop somewhere between the bottom and the top gasping for air like someone was sitting on our chest.
    We watch programs like "Biggest Loser" and secretly wish someone would knock on your door, and kick our butt into shape like one of those TV trainers.

    When you give your life over to God, I believe that is what He is trying to accomplish. When we profess with our mouth Jesus is Lord and fall under His Lordship in our life; we are asking Him to reprogram our thinking and whip us into His masterpiece.
     Why? What for?
    Since the beginning of time, God the Father, has been calling all of creation back into fellowship with Him. He even gave up His only Son to express how much He loves it. He has invited US, creation made in His image, to take on His yoke in bringing redemption to all of creation.
Can He use us in the stained, broken, out-of-shape condition we are in? No.
    Now if I stopped right there, Satan would have a field day, and back the truck of shame up and dump it all over us. But I won't.....because our Father who lives in heaven desires to wash away our past, forgive our future, and cover us in the blameless and righteous blood of His Son Jesus Christ......But He doesn't stop there!!
    He then begins to use circumstances, testing, trials, and pain to refine us back into His image. Sin did more than just destroy our relationship with God, it destroyed the whole of creation. Only through sacrifice and pain, do we remember and learn.

    Paul addresses to the Philippians the need to work out their salvation for themselves. No one will do it for us. Just like in the gym, no matter how good your trainer is, you will not begin to transform your body, until you do the work.
    Be careful not to interpret me saying we must work to earn our salvation. No, we must be obedient to the plan God has for our life, and work hard in His instruction. Salvation is a free gift. Our work-out regimen is not mandatory. But when God enters your life, He is not content with you being anything less than the best you can be. He will not stop pursuing you, until you fully surrender to Him having His way with you.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us."

 Hebrews 12:1 

Vegetables Vs. Chocolate Cake...How do you define your faith?

Once upon a time there was a boy, who later grew to be a man.....

Seems like everybody's story begins this way. At some point we learn the truth, and our world no longer seems fairy tale.

As teens, we discover the hard truth about our parents. These super humans aren't really who we believed them to be. Somehow we are able to pull back the curtain, and discover their true identity. Instead of super, they quickly transform to human. Flawed, frail, and filled with anxiety. Did they mean to misrepresent themselves? Maybe, but as a parent myself, sometimes no matter who you think you are, your children still see you as greater than you feel.

Through all my struggles, failures, and times I've stood in compromise; I've learned God still sees a perfect masterpiece. Why? Is He blind? Does He even know who I am? Does He keep me down, just so I have a need for Him, like some sort of overlord? Maybe I'm not a man at all, but a little boy still looking for superheroes.

The truth is, He sees us as righteous and perfect because of the blood of Christ Jesus. Jesus's sacrifice on the cross of Calvary built a bridge between our sinful selves and the holiness of God the Father. When God looks at us He sees Jesus. I'm so thankful for that.

In the last blog post, I wrote about the filter we use to see and hear God. Just as our children see and hear God through their superheros, God knows us through the filter of Christ Jesus our Lord. Without Him, God couldn't have the relationship that He once had in the garden of Eden. 

Paul says this in his letter to the church in Rome:

 "I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate." Romans 7:15(b)

A parable I've read recently, I think addresses the issue of brokenness in our hearts:(a) 

"A rabbi and his young disciple sat side by side under the shade of a large oak tree.    "Help me, Rabbi," said the disciple. "I am a double-minded man. The law of the Lord tells me, 'The Lord is my Shepherd and I shall not be in want.' But oh, how I want!"    The rabbi's face revealed a trace of a smile, but he remained silent.    "And Rabbi," said the younger man, "the law of the Lord tells me that my soul finds rest in God alone. But oh, how my soul finds rest in everything else!"    The rabbi's face revealed the same trace of a smile, but still he remained silent.    "And Rabbi," said the student, "the man after God's own heart told us to ask and seek after only one thing--to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and seek Him in His temple. But my heart seeks after so many things." The student lowered his voice to a whisper. "And the beauty I secretly gaze upon brings me shame. How will I ever become a man after God's own heart when I am so unfaithful?"     With this the rabbi let go of all constraint and began to laugh, his eyes sparkling. "My son," said the rabbi. "Listen to the story I am about to tell you."     "Long ago, a skylark flew above the parched and desolate ground of the desert. Times were hard for all living things, and worms were not easy to come by for a creature of the air. Even so, the skylark sang a winsome song day after day as he sought his daily portion. As each day passed, the difficulty of finding food grew more extreme. In his hunger he began to grow restless. And in his restlessness he forgot how to sing."    The rabbi paused for a moment, wiped his brow, and exhaled deeply. The student sat attentively on the edge of his seat but wondered what this story had to do with becoming a man after God's own heart.    In a whisper the rabbi continued. "One day the skylark heard an unfamiliar voice. It was the voice of a traveling peddler, and the skylark could not believe what the peddler seemed to be selling. 'Worms! Worms! Mouthwatering Worms!' cried the peddler. "Come right up and get your delicious worms today!' Incredulous at this sudden good fortune, the skylark hopped closer to the peddler, drawing nearer to this manna from heaven.     "'Worms today! Two worms for one feather!' said the peddler. A the mention of worms, the skylark felt the pang of hunger, and suddenly he understood. My feathers are many, thought the skylark, imagining the taste of the worms in his beak. Surely I will not miss just two small feathers. So, unable to resist any longer, the skylark plucked two of his smallest feathers and surrendered them to the peddler, who, unbeknownst to the skylark, was the unholy one in disguise.     "As promised, the skylark had his choice of the fattest, juiciest worms he had ever seen. And all without needing to dig and claw in the unyielding ground! So the skylark took hold of four glistening worms and swallowed them. Such small sacrifice, yet such great reward, the skylark told himself. Two small feathers is no concern to me. With his stomach full, the skylark stepped from his high perch and began to soar. And as he did, he began to sing once again.     "The next day the skylark swooped and sang until he met the nefarious peddler once again. Just as before, the peddler offered two worms for one feather. So the skylark feasted on the luscious worms until he had his fill. And so it went day after day. Times were still hard for all living things, and worms were still not easy to come by for creatures of the air.    "One day, after finishing the worms, the skylark attempted to take flight. Instead of soaring, he plummeted to the ground with a thud. Stunned but grateful to be a live, the skylark realized he had no more feathers. Of course, he could no longer fly."     The rabbi paused for so long that the disciple thought the story was over. He responded to his teacher by saying he would ponder the meaning of the story.     "Ah, but the story continues," said the rabbi. Sitting down, he exhaled deeply again. "Once the skylark realized he had given up his feathers and could not fly, he came to his senses," said the rabbi. "Desperate, he hopped and stumbled through the desert, gathering worms. A small one here, a small one there. After several days of striving and toil, he had a small pile of worms and returned to the peddler. 'Here are enough worms to exchange for my feathers--I need them back.'     "The devil, however, just laughed and said, 'You can't get your feathers back! You got your worms, and I've got your feathers. And after all, a deal is a deal!' And with that, he disappeared into thin air."    As the rabbi finished speaking, the young apprentice noticed a tear running down his teacher's cheek. "Rabbi, why the tear?" the disciple asked.     "The heart of God breaks when we give away our feathers for worms," the rabbi answered. "But even more, His heart breaks when we try to buy our feathers back. For only God can restore our feathers."     After a long silence the disciple asked, "And Rabbi, why were you laughing before you told me the story?" The rabbi turned, his moist eyes now twinkling again. "I laughed with joy because I have seen your heart. In your heart there is a song. And with your heart you will learn to fly."

Another way to illustrate this, is to ask you a question: If you were hungry and you had to choose between two things, a bowl of vegetables or a bowl of chocolate cake, which would you choose?
Just saying the word chocolate has already taken us to some place magical with oompa loompas or the joys of birthday parties. Or maybe you think of a guilty pleasure that seems like no big deal.
But what goes through your mind when you think of celery sticks and carrots? Maybe you are reminded of how you always pigged out at the salad bar at a buffet or maybe you think of potluck dinners where someone always brings veggies and dip. Or maybe you shudder at the thought of them because you were always made to eat your vegetables.
If we look at them side-by-side, we notice two things. The chocolate cake is a slice of heaven only to be regrettable when we step on a scale. Where the vegetables may not taste great, but they are great for you.
Just like in the parable we all know what is right and good, but we want what we want when we want it.
Somehow this mindset, almost never leads to long-term benefits.
What I've learned about myself, is that I treat God much the same way. Trusting God through obedience and righteousness isn't fun, but it is what is best. Taking what we want when we want it, gives us power and pleasure that will eventually ruin us.
Whether, your addicted to gambling, eating, porn, or compulsive shopping; these are all symptoms to a greater dilemma.
Adam and Eve had this problem. Everything was simply brilliant, until the serpent told them what they wanted to hear. "God is not telling you everything. He only told you not to eat of the fruit, because He didn't want you know as much as Him." Sounds like Satan is describing an overlord, not God.
What did Adam and Eve do? They bought it, hook-line-and sinker.
Every time we give in to the lies of the deceiver, we erode our intimacy with God. Our filter becomes our experience and understanding, rather than trust and obey.
Let me be clear....God didn't move, YOU did!
The grace of God is there waiting patiently for you to return to Him. What empty wells do you turn to, when God doesn't microwave His blessings? The more you nuke the promises of God into the lies of Satan, the harder it will be for you to hear clearly, without a feeling of worthlessness and shame.
God does not produce shame, nor does He claim your worthlessness. That is from the deceptive lies of Satan himself.
Jesus illustrates this beautifully in the parable of the lost son in Luke 15:11-32. The son wanted his inheritance NOW, so his father gave it to him. He left home and squandered it all on the pleasures he found, only to find himself begging for pig slop just to survive. So he decided to return home with his tail between his legs. While he was still a ways away, his father saw him and rushed out to his son, and hugged him. He demanded the best robes and food for his son was lost, but now he is found.
God is the dad and we are the lost son. His grace doesn't shame you because of your past, nor does it reject you because you don't measure up. YOU ARE GOD'S WORKMANSHIP!! He knew you before you were in your mother's womb.(C) You are known by Him!! Walk upright for the joy of the Lord is your strength.
Watch this video from Bill Cosby about his experience with manipulation and deceit. Notice all of the lies he tells himself, just so he can get what he wants when he wants it. I'm just thankful God does not deal with us like his wife would.

Will you be my filter?

Early in my life, I learned who to trust and who not to trust. Grandpa was always the one you had to watch. My grandpa would always lean over during church and ask me strange questions like, "Do you have a dry pocket?" I never understood this question to have any solution to his next statement, which was, "cause I gotta go pee." I'm not sure why he thought this was funny, but it made me laugh.
Or maybe it was the uncle who claimed by grabbing the tip of my nose, he had stolen my nose completely. What ever the reasons people use in teasing children, we always knew Mom or Dad was trustworthy.
We could find comfort in their advice about life, girls, or how a spanking hurts them more than it did me.
This was a perfectly acceptable way to function when we were children, but most of us reading this are not children anymore. Most of us have families of our own. So, why do we still function this way. It's as if we still believe someone is always going to make all the tough decisions.
Paul addresses this very issue in his letter to the Corinthians:

"When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things." 1 Cor 13:11

I think most of us, including myself, have never got away from this thinking. When we got married, we either elevated our spouse to the Holy place or we kept our previous counselor as our Holy filter.

Every Christian marriage counselor will tell you that your marriage is like a triangle, with God on top and you and your spouse on the opposite corners. This triangle tends to be difficult in most marriages. The premise is that each of you should focus on God and God will draw you together. This proves difficult if you are still operating with your Holy filter. Even though your marriage may be close, someone is always dictating your decision making.
The breakdown is that most of the people given the authority of the Holy filter haven't realized they have been placed there. What happens when we take their advice and it fails? Certainly they are to blame, right?
This is what I call the "Adam and Eve Complex".

"The man replied, 'It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.'" Gen 3:12

As we learn from the scripture, Adam blamed Eve for causing his failure. How many of us seek the advice from others, just to blame them when it does't work.
As a child we always had the dumb kid in our circle of friends. This kid was the one we would pressure to try it first. If this doesn't sound familiar to you, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it.
When we got older, somehow we still find someone to carry the burden of blame when life doesn't work out. By seeking wisdom from someone else with complete trust that they would advise us with our best decision in any situation, we are actually causing them to be accountable to a decision that is not theirs to make.
Too many times in the church we operate the same way. Our pastor is our divine filter of God, this way we can blame him when things go bad.

"It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble." Luke 17:2

Jesus is very serious about causing a child to sin. He says it's better that you were to die than to cause a child to fall. Have you ever thought maybe he wasn't referring to the age of the child, but those who think and act as a child?
This could be me. If I still seek advice from others before moving forward in obedience to what God has said, I am clearly still using that person as my Holy filter. What God desires, is that we draw from Him alone as the decision maker in our life.
When we draw energy from people, who are flawed and linear in their vision, we run short of resource. But, when we draw from the resources of our everlasting Father, the author and perfect of our faith, all-knowing, all-seeing, creator God; we are filled with an energy that refreshes us like the cool waters from a fountain.

What begins to change, is our trusted friends, pastors, teachers, and spouse; begin to be co-laborers in our walk with the Lord. The pressure of giving us critical advice is released, and they begin to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with us in our struggles.
Don't hear me as saying the burden of decision falls solely upon us. Quite contrary. God moves into the drivers seat of our lives and the tough decisions begin to seem effortless. They don't go away, but when we take the hand of our Heavenly Father, He begins to light our path. He promises us that in scripture.

"I am the way and the truth and the life....." John 14:6

What frustrates me the most, is that God never makes the decisions or tells me His decisions when I want to hear it. Erwin McManus writes in his book, "Chasing Daylight", that what we want is a map and God gives us a compass.
The only way you can produce things of God is to completely surrender all of your ways and thoughts to Him. It isn't until we get out of the way and submit to His authority in our lives can He begin to work.

 "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matt 11:30

His ways are not difficult. As a matter of fact, His ways are quite simple, but make no mistake about it, they are not easy.
I'm reminded of my favorite quote from A.W. Tozer:

“The reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven't yet come to the end of themselves. We're still trying to give orders, and interfering with God's work within us.”

Will you trust Him? Will you follow? 

Field of Dreams: The final out

When I began writing this series, I often could see the parallels within my own journey; but as I finish this series, those parallels do not exist. It is not because they are not true of the journey, it's just that I am walking in this right now.
It's always more difficult to reflect on the truth of an experience while forging through it, but when we come through to the other side things look very clear.


At the end of the movie we find our main character, Ray Kinsella, returning home to his family with his two new friends.
Terence Mann and Archie Graham are more important to the story than Ray's could ever be. You see, as I stated this before in the series, our journey is never just for us. Our journey always involves a community or fellowship. This is by design. God did not create us to be alone, thus the reason for woman. However, what we miss, is that God seeks fellowship with US.........I want to pause there and reflect for a moment.
Why then, does God not just make us be his friend? Would you feel an authentic connection with someone you made be your friend?
This will lead us down a slippery slope in a debate of freewill, but ultimately God seeks fellowship with you.


At the end of the day, our hero "Shoeless" Joe, tells Ray the players are going to call it a night, but stops before leaving and asks a question.
"Do you wanna come with us?" Joe invites Terence out with the players. What!!?, Ray asks. He doesn't get it, why would they want Terence and not him. Terence tells Ray why he is being invited instead of him, "I'm unattached, you have a family."
Ray is frustrated. It's not enough that miracles have happened, he wants to be a part of it all. He did everything he was asked to do, and never asked "What's in it for me?" until now.
"Is that why you did this, for you?...I think you better stay here Ray."
So many times we lose focus of why we started our journey in the first place. Someone else reaps a benefit we want, and selfishness takes over. This is the part I find myself in.
The journey is not over. My time has not yet come. I don't want to miss one thing, but my desires may be more of a distraction from the promise.
Ray did his part, but because of his willingness to bring others with him, he has expanded the influence of the Kingdom. This is not always evident when we seek our own understanding.
Because of Ray's boldness, Terence steps out into the unknown, and begins his own faith journey.
When we step out in faith and trust Jesus with our lives, we become a magnet for people who seek peace. The light of Jesus shining from our lives draws them like a moth to a flame. It's how we respond that makes the difference.
Ray's wife Annie tells Ray, "If all these people are gonna come, we got a lot of work to do."

"The harvest is great, but the workers are few. So pray to the Lord who is in charge of the harvest; ask him to send more workers into his fields." Luke 10:2

People will come, people will most definitely come.


Then Joe smiles at Ray and says..."if you build it he will come." Ray sees his father, at a much younger age, but marvels at the miracle laid before him.
"Ease his pain" Ray says about his father...but Joe tells him, "No Ray, it was you."
Many times we set out on our journey to bring healing to others, but eventually we discover it was us who needed healing. Many people who return from the mission field, tell stories of redemption in their own lives because of the people they thought THEY were serving.
Once Ray realizes all that has occurred has brought him to this moment, his heart wells up with the joy of redemption and asks, "Hey Dad....you wanna have a catch?"


Since the beginning of creation to the present day, all God has wanted is to spend time with His children.

• "If you build it, He will come." Our obedience brings us into an intimacy with our Creator that we all find ourselves longing for. He wants to know you and you to know Him, and He does this through a shared task.
• "Ease His pain." Ever since the fall of mankind and the entrance of sin and death, our Creator has grieved for us, longing for an intimacy He once had. But out of His perfect holiness, He recognizes the grief in us, that He sent His one and only Son to pay the price for OUR sin.
• "Go the distance." The journey to find peace needs to walk through the purifying steps of pain. Only through pain do we remember the healing. Don't give up, don't ever give up!!
• "People will come." No matter what you experience on this journey, it is never just for you. We are being made useful so that God may bring salvation to others. We are His light bearers.

God will never tell you the whole story, nor will He explain His ways, He just wants to give you life and to have it more abundantly.

"Your word is a lamp to guide my feet and a light for my path."  

Psalm 119:105

Will you trust Him?....Will you follow?

"Dark, have been my dreams of late."

Have you ever felt dark? Watch this clip and see if you can identify the lies.

Most of us have listened, at one point in our lives, and darkness is where we find ourselves. 

We face a real enemy. He seeks to devour us like a hungry lion. Do you need release from his clutches?

Listen for the promises as you watch this clip. 

Lies of the Deceiver

Gandalf Releases Theoden from Sarumans spell

Click Here

Call out to Jesus, for He is the light. 

"I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won't have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life." 

John 8:12

Field of Dreams: Peace they lack

As I began to write this series on the movie "Field of Dreams", I never realized the journey I would go on. Much of what I have written has been born out of my personal journey. The heartache of failure, missed opportunities, and friendships that have let me down. Nothing truly prepared me for this journey of redemption.

When you say yes to following something or someone, it always seems to produce in you a loyalty and energy that cannot be derailed. Over time the fire begins to fizzle and you lose heart, at least until something or someone else comes along with the newest and greatest.
We all find ourselves with a longing to belong. A dire need to be a part of something greater than ourselves. Where it gets hard however, is when we realize that thing that we have devoted our lives to, is actually greater than ourselves. We feel overwhelmed and out of control, and we lose heart. Resigned to the fact that greatness has escaped us once more, we put our head down and drudge through life lacking purpose and hope. Looking at every new opportunity through our cynical lens and casting pessimism on anyone who thinks they've found it.
How did this happen? How did we grow for so many years and only progress so little? All is lost.....Right?
As I started the greatest journey of my life, I realized the next greatest thing. Someone or something, had been waiting patiently with His arms wide open. No condemnation, no judgement, no settling for second best, but unconditional love. No strings attached, no effort given to earn it, just freedom.
As a believer in Jesus Christ and the "Good News", I am astonished at how far away I stayed from the truth of the Messiah or what a Savior really meant in my life. Late in my teens, I had said yes to Jesus, and heaven everlasting was my reward. I've done it, I've called upon the name of the Lord, and now I'm saved from the perils of Hell. But did I really believe Jesus wanted more?
I didn't do anything, except say "Yes" when He called my name. On the sound of the breeze He whispered, "Brad....If you build it He will come."
I stepped back with a certain awe and wonder. Could He really be talking to me? What should I do? Why would He speak to me? Doesn't He know the failure I am? Doesn't He know how far away from Him I have fallen? Doesn't He know my past? Isn't He Holy, and pure? Why should He defile His Kingdom with the likes of me?
By all rights as creator God, He could have commanded anything, but with a gentle whisper He said, "If you trust me with everything, I will take care of everything."
Jesus didn't want my feet just inside the protection of heaven, He wanted me to love Him with an unconditional surrender, so that He may give me life.
Soon after saying "yes" to Jesus, those who were the closest to me, became my adversary. Why would they not just love me? Why do they have to oppress me with their judgement? I couldn't see how scared they were.
Change always bring discomfort on those who travel in your comfort zone, because their comfort zone is changed. They can't understand and continue to ridicule. They even attack those who support you because they are scared those people are leading astray. They even begin to think you've brainwashed your kids to believe your lies. It broke my heart. He loves me, but they reject me. Fear is so powerful, it will destroy you if you let it.
Then I heard God whisper gently again, "Ease his pain." What I realized was He said, "This call is not just for you, there are others who lack hope."
So with wide eyes I began to search. What's funny is, He never asked me to do the searching.
Full of confusion and grief, I began to question if I'd been asked to do anything.
Ready to walk away from it all because of the constant rejection and condemnation from others, He whispered again,....."Go the distance." "Don't give up. It's going to get real hard. You're going to have to walk through the fire if you want to be really useful."
Along the way I met many who are on the same journey. Suddenly, I didn't feel so alone. Suddenly, there was hope. Suddenly there were others who found the courage to listen because of me. Really? What did I do?
Oswald Chambers writes in My Utmost for His Highest, that a true Saint will be completely unaware of how God is using them to change the lives of those around them.
In February of 2014 my family was commissioned by Greater Europe Mission to be missionaries to Europe and bring the "Good News" to all the peoples there.
How did this happen? We applied, but my past should have disqualified me, right? What does God want me to do now?

"People will come"

I have taken some liberties with the famous speech by Terence Mann who was portrayed by James Earl Jones, but I think this is the crux of the whole movie for me:

People will come. They'll come to you for reasons they can't even fathom. They'll turn up to hear the message not knowing for sure why they're doing it. They'll walk up to you as innocent as children, longing for peace. Of course, we won't mind if join our story, you'll say. It's only $30 per month. They'll pass over the money without even thinking about it: for it is money they have and peace they lack. And they'll walk out to the Kingdom; sit in shirtsleeves on a perfect afternoon. They'll find they have a reserved blanket somewhere along one of the riverbanks, where they sat when they were children and dreamed of their heroes. And they'll feel the love of Christ and it'll be as if they dipped themselves in magic waters. The memories will be so thick they'll have to brush them away from their faces. People will come. The one constant through all the years, has been Jesus. Humanity has rolled by like an army of steamrollers. It has been erased like a blackboard, rebuilt and erased again. But Jesus has marked the time. His Kingdom, His love: it's a part of our past. It reminds us of all that once was good and it could be again. Oh... people will come. People will most definitely come.

Listen closely to the whispers of redemption. God's bigger story. Eden reborn. The Kingdom of God.
Once we understand the importance of standing firm on the decisions we've made, we become galvanized to expect the unexpected. We become determined to never give up.
Archie Graham had gotten his wish of playing against big league pitchers, but now his true calling comes to life when Ray's daughter falls and begins to choke. He rescues Ray's little girl.
Through the tragedy of her injury, Ray's wife's family finally sees the supernatural, and realizes how wrong they were. They become determined as well.
Once they saw the miracle, they become determined to find the means to support any way necessary.
But more often then not, families never make it this far. Many never support the call of God that you feel so convicted to follow.
Henri Nouwen writes in his book "Making All Things New":

"To set our hearts on the Kingdom therefore means to make the life of the Spirit within and among us the center of all we think, say, or do."

He then goes on in another book, "A Spirituality of Fundraising", that fundraising is a very concrete way to help the Kingdom of God come about. The Kingdom of God is where He provides for all that we need. It is the realm of sufficiency where we are no longer pulled here and there by anxiety about having enough. Even a seemingly small act of generosity can grow into something far beyond what we could ever ask or imagine.
When you welcome people into this realm of the Kingdom, in a sense, you are giving them the very thing Terence Mann was talking about. "For money they have, and peace they lack."
The Kingdom of God is a collaborative effort of those doing the work, those seeking to be a part, and those supporting out of there God given resources.
Nouwen says, if we raise funds for the creation of a community of love, we are helping God build the Kingdom.
The call to follow God through His whispers has never been about us, it's always been about others. Submitting ourselves in such a way that we become useful for the Kingdom. Note: I didn't say make ourselves useful, but surrendering to our creator so that out of our humility we become a conquering warrior.

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” Acts 1:8

"People will come....."

Field of Dreams: It's going to get hard.

As Ray was sitting in the seats at Fenway Park with Terence, he hears the voice whisper, "Go the distance," and then he sees the scoreboard flash up some random statistic about a ballplayer from the 20's;
Archibald "Moonlight" Graham.
He turns to Terence and asks whether he saw the message, and his friend tells him he saw nothing.
Confused, he takes Terence back to his house and decides Terence wasn't supposed to be a part of this story.
That's what it is like on the road to redemption. Sometimes we meet people or think of people who need permission to see what we see, but when they are too scared to recognize it, we feel our efforts have failed.
What Ray soon discovers is that Terence did see the message; he was just too scared to admit what he couldn't explain.
"It's alright to admit it," Ray says, "it's what told me to find you." Ray finally doesn't feel so alone. What a breakthrough, Terence must know what it means, right? All Terence could say was, "We're going to Minnesota to find "Moonlight" Graham."
When the eyes are opened by God, something remarkable happens. We are no longer loners on a road to nowhere, we are now in a fellowship that believes.
Even though this is the most excited Ray has been in a while, he still knows he can't leave his wife behind. A quick call home should keep her in the loop, he thinks. Little does he know the pressure she is facing at home.
Her family, still blind to the calling, threaten her and her security by telling what a foolish thing it is to stand by and support her husband. They think they know what's best, and her husband clearly does not.
She couldn't bring herself to douse the flames of her husbands excitement, so she bears the burden herself.
Ray and Terence travel from Boston to Chisholm, Minnesota in hopes of gaining some insight to who this next sojourner may be.
When they arrive in Minnesota to find "Moonlight" Graham, they learned he became a medical doctor. They also discovered Doc Graham had died in 1972, some 15 years before they arrived.
Why would the story take them to see a man 15 years after he died, and what is so special about this guy that they had to travel so far to find out?
Terence does some research, but what happens to Ray is one of my favorite parts of the story.
Ray is shifted back to 1972 and meets Doc "Moonlight" Graham. What is happening? Is he dreaming?
Ray soon finds out that  Doc Graham a wise old sage who came close to his dreams and missed them, only to feel like the ship has sailed on those dreams.
He tells Ray about getting to the Major Leagues for a half of an inning, but never getting to hit. When he was sent back to the Minors he was devastated. He couldn't imagine another season of disappointment. "It's like coming this close to your dreams, and then watch them brush past you like a stranger in the crowd."
Ray, like all of us on this sacred path asks a great question, "If you could do anything or have any wish?"
"Are you the type of man that could grant me that wish?" Doc asks. "I don't know, I'm just asking" said Ray
As Doc tells Ray what he's always wanted and wished for, Ray tells him of such a place it can come true.
Doc thinks for a bit and then says, "This is my most special place in all the world, Ray. Once a place touches you like this, the wind never blows so cold again. You feel for it, like it was your child. I can't leave Chisholm"
Ray is now adamant that Doc must go with them. "But your wish?" Ray asks. Doc says he has no regrets, it will have to stay a wish.
"50 years ago you came within five minutes of your wish. It will kill some men to get that close to their dream and not touch it. They'd consider it a tragedy." Doc says,"Son, if I'd only gotten to be a doctor for five minutes, now that would be a tragedy."
It's funny how in our zealous energy we feel it's our place to point out the smallness of people's faith. We want for them to truly have life, but sadly we miss what the man said.
Doc had come to terms with what was really important. Following selfish ambition is fun, but investing in the lives of others was a dream come true.
Ray goes back and reflects to Terence, "Maybe we're not supposed to take him with us."
Meanwhile, Ray calls his wife and she breaks the news that her brother has bought the note on their home. "If we don't pay, my brother and his partners are going to foreclose." Ray feels he is met a dead end, tells her they're coming home.
Ending their journey and coming home seems the only logical thing to do, but Ray and Terence are left with more questions then answers. Then it happens, something supernatural.
On their way home, they meet a young hitchhiker looking for a ride. He is looking to catch on with a baseball team, and wanted to just ride along for a while. His name is.....Archie Graham.
The pair are dumbfounded. What possibly lies ahead for them?
Ray begins to talk about his dad to Terence, and how much pain he felt he'd caused his father. He reflects on how much he regrets the last thing he said to his dad, before he left home for good. He incriminated his dad's hero. "I could never respect a man, whose hero was a criminal." Ray told his father.
Ray has never forgave himself for being seventeen and rebelling. Terence tells him maybe all of the whispers have been to bring back the past and right what went wrong. Terence, now is left wondering his part in the bigger story.
When they arrive back at the farm in Iowa, Terence finally gets to experience what Ray had been talking about, and he is mesmerized. He can't believe what he sees before him. Heroes from days gone by, playing the game of baseball on this magical field.
Then "Shoeless" Joe Jackson grabs young Archie Graham, and tells him to suit up and play.
"Unbelievable" says Terrance. "It's more than that, it's perfect." says Ray
This feels like Discipleship.
Everyone is on a journey to find answers, some find the author and some find the deceiver, but all seek the truth. When traveling on your road, be sure to invite those you meet to come with you, they may just be looking for permission to believe. You are never too young or too old, you just have to go.

"For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him." 

2 Chronicles 16:9a(a)

Field of Dreams: Redemption's Story

Many times we hear a whisper from God, and we take action without any further instruction. We stand back and marvel at our accomplishments. All we want is for God, family, or anyone to be proud of what we did. It's then that God whispers the reason why He asked us in the first place. "Ease his pain"
My friend Andy Flannagan is an accomplished musician, medical doctor, and politician; but his real passion is redemption. I love the way he talks about what God wants when He whispers to us. Here is an excerpt from and interview he gave:

"This is a story that was the highlight of my childhood. It was a Saturday afternoon when my dad would come into the house and say, "Andrew its time for you to help me wash the car." And I would swell with pride because my dad needed MY help to wash the car. It was really a gorgeous memory until I heard a guy on a Sunday morning talking about how he'd been washing the car with his son the previous day. He said, "You know what? It was a nightmare, cause he got a stone in the sponge and he scraped the paintwork and he kicked the bucket over."......I was left thinking....Well, I was only six or seven at the time. You know I could hardly reach the bumper. Why did my dad ask for my help? I'm sure I made the process take a whole lot longer. It was only then that I realized that my dad simply wanted me to be there, because he was there. He wanted me to be getting up to what he was getting up to. He wanted me to be getting to know him and for him to get to know me in the context of a shared task. And certainly I believe, right across this world, our Heavenly Father is healing the sick, bringing sight to the blind, releasing the oppressed; and simply calls us to be getting up to what He is getting up to. Getting to know Him in the context of a shared task."

So what God wants from us, is not for our benefit, but for the world He longs to see redeemed.
"Ease His pain."
What pain? Whose pain?.....I believe God calls each of His followers to embark on a journey that causes us to be a poured out as an offering for a lost and dying world. I think Andy is spot on when he says, God will do this through a shared task, so that we may know Him better.

Below are the steps our character Ray takes when he hears the whisper, "Ease his pain." I can relate 100% to every emotion, feeling, and question Ray must have had. As I look back, I wouldn't have it any other way.

• Begins to put in the work
• Explains the decision over and over
• Arrives at a place of satisfaction that the work is done
• Marvels at the crazy decisions made, but still feels completely nuts
• Waits impatiently for something, just something to happen
• Time goes on and doubt creeps in
• He feels more alone now than before he started.
• His decision seems to have sunk the family
• To go back seems impossible, but to move forward seems deadly
• Then it happens....the decision is confirmed by a glimpse of whats to come.
• Supernatural takes over from understanding
• He enters into an undeserved privilege
• When we take one step toward God, He takes one step toward us.
• Things happen that cause him to have butterflies as if he is in a dream.
• If it hadn't happened to him, he would've never believed.
• He's done it, he's accomplished what the voice asked him to do.
• Up until now the family hasn't understood everything, but when the supernatural happens, their life begins to radically change.
• He's still not convinced as to why he decided to this, but he knows he doesn't want to experience anything else.
• They funny thing is, his extended family doesn't get it either. Out of their compassion and love for their child, they begin to condemn and question every decision he makes. They're scared, nothing else.
• Something funny happens, his extended family and friends can't see what he and his immediate family see. He begins to REALLY feel insane, but then sadness for his extended family and friends takes over.
• Then he gets another message from the whisper. "Ease his pain"
• What pain?...Whose pain?
• This becomes really frustrating.
• In the most unlikely of places, someone comes to his mind.
• After doing some research about what pain they may have, his fire reignites to bring this person relief.
• What also occurs while he is trying to discern what in the heck is going on, his spouse jumps on board by becoming his greatest defender.
• As he feels confident about what he is to do next, his spouse throws on the brakes and tries to speak reason.
• He can't explain why he has to do it, but everything in him tells him to.
• Then something supernatural happens which removes all doubt for the both of them.
• It's almost as if God is trying to prove Himself as trustworthy.
• He goes through with it, and when he arrives, his arrival is not met with a welcome. The only thing that keeps him pushing forward is his desperation to see his choices be proved trustworthy.
• He might even take drastic measures just to force wide what seems to be cracked open.
• When he finally gets through, he isn't even sure why he's doing it, but he is certain to walk forward so more light will be shone on his path.

Then it happens...the whisper says, "Go the distance."

Field of Dreams: God whispers

The scene begins with our main character who seems to be doing something that seems quite usual for him. Nothing out the ordinary, nothing strange. He is doing what he always does.
Then it happens......

"If you build it, He will come."

Build what? Build where?....
You see, much like our character, we want clear direction and clear purpose before we move into the unknown.
Over the last few year of my life, I have discovered how similarly God speaks. I've learned valuable lessons in discerning the voice of God, and although He seems cruel in His whispers, He really is showing you the utmost love.
God is not unprepared for what He is asking, we are. If He were to give us the full picture, the complete story; could we handle it? Would we even begin the journey? The question I believe He is seeking: Will you trust Him?
I learned for the first time in my life, how very little I did trust Him.
Waking up everyday, doing my ordinary life, living under the protection and provision of God, I never really needed to depend on God. I was trained from an early age to be a self-reliant. Depending on someone or some thing made you vulnerable to hurt and disappointment.
"If you want something done right, you might as well do it yourself," and I was content to lead my life the way I saw fit, just as long as I remember to play within the boundaries of morality.
February 5th, 1995, I realized for the first time I couldn't rely on my own ability to keep me from eternal separation from God. I needed Jesus Christ to be my advocate, and pay the price of eternal fellowship with God that I couldn't ever pay.
September 17th, 2011, was the day I heard the voice. I had been fed up with the life I was living. I wanted a life with purpose and meaning. So I did what any Bible believing Christian would do, I demanded that God giving me an audible word on what He wanted from me. Essentially, I came to the end of myself and told God I was done giving orders. My efforts were only producing empty successes and broken relationships.
I would love to tell you, the skies opened and a dove descended onto to my shoulder and a thunderous voice spoke from heaven, but what I heard was silence.
I was out for a midnight walk when I hoped for such a message, but even though I heard nothing, I began to feel an ease to the burdens that I carried.
A scripture verse came to my mind, but I couldn't quite remember it accurately, so I hurried inside and grabbed my Bible to hunt down the verse that escaped me.
I never found that verse, nor can I remember what it was, but I believe the verses I did find were the whispers of God.
When I began to see the pattern of the scriptures I then heard a voice well up from the depths of my heart. It said, "I've already told you what I want for your life, I even wrote it down for you, I will not repeat myself just so you will believe."
That's when I was left with no other choice. I could go back to the life that left me lifeless or I could take a step toward the will of God and truly live.
I want to recap the events that happened to Ray Kinsella, our main character, so below you will find it listed in bullet points. For me, the call to take up my cross and follow (Luke 9:23) has been exactly in line with Ray's call to build a baseball field.

"If you build it, He will come."

• the voice hits you when you least expect it

• question everything, nothing seems to make sense

• can't sleep, it consumes your thoughts

• you begin to feel a bit insane

• start to become irritable with the family, because you want concrete answers

• you feel very alone to what is happening or in your understanding

• when you tell people, they think you're nuts

• then it happens, you find the vision that has been nagging at your heart.

• nothing else seems to matter until you see that thing begin to take shape

• your spouse wants to be supportive, but she can't see what you see

• both of you begin to discuss how improbable that the voice could be real

• then it hits you....you've been living your life trying to find significance, only to find your significance could only be found by following the whisper. 

Don't wait to truly live. Call upon the name of the Lord and He will answer, but be quiet so you don't miss the whisper.

And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind whipped the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire there was a still, small voice.  

1 Kings 19:11-12

It's almost time for pitchers and catchers to report!!

36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. 37 Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. 38 Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."
Matthew 9:36-38

As a native of St. Louis, there are two things we learn early on; we are the "Gateway to the West" and Cardinal Baseball is a religion. Most people I meet who live outside of this great city don't feel baseball to be that exciting, unless of course you're playing.
For cities with a history like ours, the game of baseball created heroes and legends. We love the game so much, that many of us can remember what it sounded like to hear the crack of the bat for the first time, like it was yesterday. Or, we find ourselves at a barbecue with friends and we say things like, "these hot dogs are okay, but not like the ones at the ballpark."
In St. Louis, ballplayers aren't just ballplayers, they live where we live. They serve the community as if it were theirs to care for. Heck, we even celebrate our heritage with our local brewery, Anheuser-Busch. Not because their products hold together our city, but their part in the St. Louis Cardinals Baseball season opening day parade around the ballpark. The team of Clydesdales pulling the familiar delivery wagon to their theme can only mean one thing, for the next 162 games of the summer, our hearts will soar and fall with our beloved Redbirds.
Now the love of sport is not something foreign to the rest of the world, but in St. Louis, we feel nobody does it better. "Just try it once, and you'll never be the same," is what we always tell the naysayers.
You might say, "Big WOW, what's that got to do with Matthew 9:36-38?"
September 17, 2011, was the day I discovered how it was all linked. One of the traditions in my life is to celebrate the start of the baseball season by watching one of my favorite movies, "Field of Dreams." If you've never seen this movie, stop what you are doing right now and go watch it!!
For those of you who refuse, this movie has shaped much of what my next 5 blogs will be about. I know what you are thinking, BORING, but that's because you haven't been to a Cardinals game. See what I did there?
Seriously, the story is based on three characters, all of whom had tremendous pain in their lives. The first character we are introduced to is John Kinsella. John is the father of Ray Kinsella, and since John was in his fifties by the time Ray was born, I'm sure he was rather intolerant of his young son. Ray's mother died when he was three, so it was just him and Dad. Ray was your typical rebellious teen and did things in spite of his father, and when he chose his college, it was on the opposite coast.
Ray was a product of the 60's and John was shaped by World War I. Obviously, this was going to be strained.
John died early in the 70's and never got to see Ray grow as a father and husband, nor did he get to meet his granddaughter. Ray seemed to always feel the grief of this loss.
The third character we meet, is "Shoeless Joe" Jackson. Joe played major league baseball with the Chicago White Sox and in 1919 his team threw the World Series to win at gambling. This had Joe and seven other players banned from ever playing in the Majors again.
"Getting thrown out of baseball is like having a part of you amputated." says Jackson in the movie.
Needless to say, all three of our characters needed relief.
So what does all of this have to do with Matthew 9? I believe the movie "Field of Dreams" is the tale for all of us seeking for more to life than what we have.
In the next few posts, we will unpack what I think, is the typical journey of the believer. Just like with Ray in his cornfield, it all starts with a whisper. Except the whisper we hear is,

 "The harvest is great and the workers are few."

Have you seen this place?

It was in the year King Uzziah died that I saw the Lord. He was sitting on a lofty throne, and the train of his robe filled the Temple. ² Attending him were mighty seraphim, each having six wings. With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they flew. ³ They were calling out to each other,

“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of Heaven’s Armies!
    The whole earth is filled with his glory!”

⁴ Their voices shook the Temple to its foundations, and the entire building was filled with smoke.

⁵ Then I said, “It’s all over! I am doomed, for I am a sinful man. I have filthy lips, and I live among a people with filthy lips. Yet I have seen the King, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.”

⁶ Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a burning coal he had taken from the altar with a pair of tongs.⁷ He touched my lips with it and said, “See, this coal has touched your lips. Now your guilt is removed, and your sins are forgiven.”

Isaiah 6:1-7

Last Sunday, I was feeling pretty tired from the night before, and I was really not in the mood to be at church. My pillow sounded better, but I had committed to be a part of leading worship that morning.
After rehearsal that morning, I just couldn't get motivated, and the coffee wasn't helping either. I felt myself actually a bit irritable.
A few years ago, I remember hearing Francis Chan speak about a multi-day conference he was asked to speak at. By the third day, he noticed one of the worship leaders had a consistent fire about how she worshiped. He had to know her secret, so he asked. She told him her prayer was for God to not just give her a repeat of a great worship experience, but that He would give her something she had never felt before. He was reminded how many times we've experienced God and we are content to reflect and dwell rather than seek a fresh wind or fresh fire.
Well, that was me. Let me tell you, that wasn't going to cut it. So I drifted off to some room behind the sanctuary and spent some time praying. I asked God for a new experience, something I had never had, because today was going to need it.
If you've never been given the opportunity to lead a congregation of people in song, it can be quite challenging. Not only are you dealing with your own self-pride and humility, but you are dealing with the importance of not being transparent. People are moved by authenticity and if you feel like death warmed over, that produces an issue.
After praying, I could feel my energy beginning to gain momentum, or a great caffeine buzz. We sang a couple of songs, and then we began one of the most overplayed pieces that just produces a going-through-the-motions style of worship, "Revelation Song."
The basis of the entire song is found in Isaiah 6 or Revelation 4, and it speaks of being in the throne room of God. There is a part of the song that just hit me like never before:

"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty
Who was and is and is to come
With all creation I sing praise to the King of kings
You are my everything and I will adore You"

When I got to the part of "...You are my everything and I will adore You," I lost it. When I say lost it, I mean broken. I was crying so much I could even sing. It came out of nowhere, and all I could do was beg for forgiveness and just weep. Why?
I came home that afternoon reflecting on what had just happened, still a bit stunned I tried to tell my wife, and started crying again. What is my problem...geesh?!
The next day God brought Isaiah 6 to my mind and I reflected on the part where Isaiah said,

“It’s all over! I am doomed, for I am a sinful man. I have filthy lips, and I live among a people with filthy lips. Yet I have seen the King, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies.”

So, I suppose the new experience God wanted for me that morning, was found in His throne room.

What an awesome experience!