If I forgive, they win...right?

       Much of my adult life has been spent looking back, feeling resentful, regretful, and even feeling like a failure. It wasn't until recently that I learned self-pity is a form of pride. What makes it particularly sneaky, is that this form of pride only happens when you feel disappointed.

       I used to blame my dad for not being a better dad, my mom for not being a better mom, or even people who have let me down. My life was never a result of my own actions or responsibility. If I were to admit that I caused my own disappointment, then I am really a failure.

       Seems like a vicious cycle, never gaining any ground. Besides, I loved rainy days, sad songs, or any other reason to feel reflectively sorrowful. I excused it as a cleansing of my soul. Really, I was practicing the purest form of idolatry.

       Then, I had a chance to gain a better understanding of the results my life was producing. Instead of just recognizing that people let me down, I had to determine to forgive them and move forward. In some cases, I wasn't ready to let them win. Nevertheless, I was the only one being held captive, not them. I realized my prayers were hindered because I refused to forgive.

¹⁴ For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. ¹⁵ But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-15

Decision # 6

 

The Compassionate Decision*

I Will Greet This Day With a Forgiving Spirit.

For too long, every ounce of forgiveness I owned was locked away, hidden from view, waiting for me to

bestow its precious presence upon some worthy person. Alas, I found most people to be singularly

unworthy of my valuable forgiveness and, since they never asked for any, I kept it all for myself.

 

Now, the forgiveness that I hoarded has sprouted inside my heart like a crippled seed yielding bitter fruit.

No more! At this moment, my life has taken on new hope and assurance. Of all the world’s population, I

am one of the few possessors of the secret to dissipating anger and resentment. I now understand that

forgiveness only has value when it is given away. By the simple act of granting forgiveness, I release the

demons of the past about which I can do nothing and create in myself a new heart, a new beginning.

I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit. I will forgive even those who do not ask for forgiveness. Many

are the times when I have seethed in anger at a word or deed thrown into my life by an unthinking or

uncaring person. Valuable hours have been wasted imagining revenge or confrontation. Now I see the

truth revealed about this psychological rock inside my shoe. The rage I nurture is often one-sided, for my

offender seldom gives thought to his offense!

I will now and forevermore silently offer my forgiveness even to those who do not see that they need it.

 

By the act of forgiving, I am no longer consumed by unproductive thoughts. My bitterness is given up. I

 

am contented in my soul and effective again with my fellow man.

I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit. I will forgive those who criticize me unjustly. Knowing that

 

slavery, in any form, is wrong. I also know that the person who lives a life according to the opinion of

 

others is a slave. I am not a slave. I have chosen my own counsel. I know the difference between right and

 

wrong. I know what is best for the future of my family, and neither misguided opinion nor unjust criticism

 

will alter my course.

Those who are critical of my goals and dreams simply do not understand the higher purpose to which I

have been called. Therefore, their scorn does not affect my attitude or action. I forgive their lack of vision

and forge ahead. I now know that criticism is part of the price paid for leaping past mediocrity.

I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit. I will forgive myself. For many years, my greatest enemy has

been myself. Every mistake, every miscalculation, every stumble I made has been replayed over and over

in my mind. Every broken promise, every day wasted, every goal not reached has compounded the disgust

I feel for the lack of achievement in my life. My dismay has developed a paralyzing grip. When I

 

disappoint myself, I respond with inaction and become more disappointed.

I realize today that it is impossible to fight an enemy living in my head. By forgiving myself, I erase the

doubts, fears, and frustration that have kept my past in the present. From this day forward, my history

will cease to control my destiny. I have forgiven myself. My life has just begun.

I will forgive even those who do not ask for forgiveness. I will forgive those who criticize me unjustly. I

will forgive myself.

I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit.

 

* The Traveler's Gift by Andy Andrews

The Gospel According to Dory

As a father, one of my favorite movies is Disney Pixar's Finding Nemo. I know what it is to be a single father, and I know the great lengths my heart would take me if something were to happen to my children.

If you've never seen the movie, the main character Marlin is on a search through the ocean to find his son Nemo, who was taken by some divers. Along the way we meet Dory. Dory is what my wife would say is "somewhat touched." She is a fish with short-term memory loss, and after she meets you or gains new information, she forgets it rather quickly.

Flash forward a bit, and Marlin and Dory are over a deep trench that stretches into the darkness. The only clue as to where Nemo may be had just sank into that trench. Marlin is beside himself as to what to do. He feels like his entire world just collapsed with that sinking clue.

Dory, in her serendipitous way, sees no problem. Her thought is to swim down into the abyss and retrieve what they need. Marlin cannot fathom(see what I did there?..fathom) even the possibility of retrieving the clue. Then Dory asks the question we all are frozen with fear to answer. "What do you do when life gets you down?"

Most of us think of a thousand scenarios of catastrophe and just give up. Dory's answer is not high on our preference, nor does it remotely seem logical. As a matter of fact, it's downright giddy irresponsibility! (I stole that from George Banks in Mary Poppins)

Dory simply begins to sing "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming,....."

Today as you read what Andy Andrews has written, think of your life. Is squeezing out a smile and singing a song, painfully irritating? Think of your present situation or season of your life, and then take the advice of a little girl locked up in a prison camp. Anne Frank, in spite of all she was experiencing, chose to be happy.





Decision #5

The Joyful Decision*

Today, I Will Choose to be Happy.

Beginning this very moment, I am a happy person, for I now truly understand the concept of

happiness. Few others before me have been able to grasp the truth of the physical law that

enables one to live happily every day. I know now that happiness is not an emotional phantom

floating in and out of my life. Happiness is a choice. Happiness is the end result of certain

thoughts and activities, which actually bring about a chemical reaction in my body. This reaction

results in a euphoria, which, while elusive to some, is totally under my control.

Today I will choose to be happy. I will greet each day with laughter. Within moments of awakening,

I will laugh for seven seconds. After even such a small period of time, excitement has begun

to flow through my bloodstream. I feel different. I am different! I am enthusiastic about the day.

I am alert to its possibilities. I am happy! Laughter is an outward expression of enthusiasm, and

I know that enthusiasm is the fuel that moves the world. I laugh throughout the day. I laugh while

I am alone, and I laugh in conversation with others. People are drawn to me because I have laughter

in my heart. The world belongs to the enthusiastic for people will follow them anywhere!

Today I will choose to be happy. I will smile at every person I meet. My smile has become my

calling card. It is, after all, the most potent weapon I possess. My smile has the strength to forge

bonds, break ice, and calm storms. I will use my smile constantly. Because of my smile, the people

with whom I come in contact on a daily basis will choose to further my causes and follow my

leadership. I will always smile first. That particular display of a good attitude will tell others what

I expect in return. My smile is the key to my emotional make up. A wise man once said, “I do not

sing because I am happy; I am happy because I sing!” When I choose to smile, I become the master

of my emotions. Discouragement, despair, frustration, and fear will always wither when confronted

by my smile. The power of who I am is displayed when I smile.

Today I will choose to be happy. I am the possessor of a grateful spirit. In the past, I have found

discouragement in particular situations, until I compared the condition of my life to others less

fortunate. Just as a fresh breeze cleans smoke from the air, so does a grateful spirit remove the

cloud of despair. It is impossible for the seeds of depression to take root in a thankful heart. My

God has bestowed upon me many gifts, and for these I will remember to be grateful. Too many

times I have offered up the prayers of a beggar, always asking for more and forgetting my thanks.

I do not wish to be seen as a greedy child, unappreciative, and disrespectful. I am grateful for

sight and sound and breath. If ever in my life there is a pouring out of blessings beyond that, then

I will be grateful for the miracle of abundance.

I will greet each day with laughter. I will smile at every person I meet. I am the possessor of a

grateful spirit.

Today, I will choose to be happy.

*Traveler's Gift by Andy Andrews 

The Power of the Decision.

Soon after returning from London, I realized the answer to my questions. Although, this answer seemed to bring MORE questions. I began to take an inventory of myself and resources, because that's what wise people do when asked to DO something, right?

All I could hear in my mind was a small still voice saying, "Quit your job." This made no sense, nor was this the path I had spent years treading. "You can't quit your job without first having another lined up." is what I was always taught.

Many times after hearing this voice, I became convinced that was the answer. However, how do I take that step of faith when I can't see the path?

Many times this ended with me sobbing on my knees in the embrace of my wife assuring me that we would get through this. Disclaimer: DO NOT IGNORE THE VOICE!!

This was God's voice. He knew what lay ahead, and how my decisions would drive me deeper within myself. It finally culminated in September 2012. I left my career, but not for the reasons I had hoped. See, my ignorance to my depravity of sin and self, brought me to a mighty fall. My ego had grown to a mammoth size and I felt invincible. No decision was out of MY control.

"..For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it." Matthew 7:13

God had to allow the ME MONSTER to completely destroy me before He had any room to work in my life. I love Him for that.
My destruction didn't come from having a "decided heart", but one of fear of failure and a need to be in control.
The beautiful love story here is, no matter whether it's a debilitating disease or a career ending move, God will stop at nothing in pursuit of your heart.
When you hear "that small still voice", have a decided heart to trudge forward no matter what. He is trustworthy!!

 

Decision #4*

 

The Certain Decision

I Have a Decided Heart.

A wise man once said, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Knowing this to be true, I am taking my first step today. For too long my feet have been tentative, shuffling left and right, more backward than forward as my heart gauged the direction of the wind. Criticism, condemnation, and complaint are creatures of the wind. They come and go on the wasted breath of lesser beings and have no power over me. The power to control direction belongs to me. Today I will begin to exercise that power. My course has been charted. My destiny is assured.

 

I have a decided heart. I am passionate about my vision for the future. I will awaken every morning with an excitement about the new day and its opportunity for growth and change. My thoughts and actions will work in a forward motion, never sliding into the dark forest of doubt or the muddy quicksand of self-pity. I will freely give my vision for the future to others, and as they see the belief in my eyes, they will follow me. I will lay my head on my pillow at night happily exhausted, knowing that I have done everything within my power to move the mountains in my path. As I sleep, the same dream that dominates my waking hours will be with me in the dark. Yes, I have a dream. It is a great dream, and I will never apologize for it. Neither will I ever let it go, for if I did, my life would be finished. My

hopes, my passions, my vision for the future is my very existence. A person without a dream never had a dream come true.

I have a decided heart. I will not wait.

 

I know that the purpose of analysis is to come to a conclusion. I have tested the angles. I have measured the probabilities. And now I have made a decision with my heart. I am not timid. I will move now and not look back. What I put off until tomorrow, I will put off until the next day as well. I do not procrastinate. All my problems become smaller when I confront them. If I touch a thistle with caution, it will prick me, but if I grasp it boldly, its spines crumble into dust.

I will not wait. I am passionate about my vision for the future. My course has been charted. My destiny is assured.

I have a decided heart.

* Traveler's Gift by Andy Andrews

Carpe Diem!!

Sometimes when faced with trials or circumstance, we all lose sight of the path we are on. Sometimes we feel so overwhelmed by all of the bombardment that the only natural response is to sit down and cry. Sometimes we pray for God to just tell us what to do only to receive no answer.

After reading the heroic actions of one man on a hill just outside of a little town called Gettysburg; I really began to believe in action. I won't tell you his story here, but I challenge you to read it for yourself.

When walking by faith, typically you need to be walking. My friend has always said, "You take one step toward God, and He will take one step toward you." Although sometimes, that first step looks like a giant canyon.

My favorite illustration of faith, is found in "Indiana Jones: The Last Crusade". At the end of the movie, our hero Indiana needs to get the Holy Grail in order to save his father's life. After surviving a few of the challenges, Indiana is faced with crossing a wide crevice in a cave. The instruction was to "believe in the Lion" or make a "leap of faith". This is where many people lose heart in following God. If it doesn't fall into the rules of the five senses then it must not be. I know God wants so much more for us, but to experience it, calls for unconditional trust of your creator.

#1. The Bible says He will never leave you or turn His back on you. (Deuteronomy 31:6) and #2. He knows the plans He has for you, and they are for good and not harm (Jeremiah 29:11)

You see the issue is not about God not answering your prayer, He is just waiting for YOU to be ready to receive more information. To do that, we need to show we trust Him by taking the first step.

A better way to illustrate this is to tell you how to be a successful trapeze artist. 

When performing a trapeze act there are two people needed; a flyer and a catcher. In order for the flyer to be caught, the flyer waits until their swing has them at the peak of there flight, then they let go with there hands outstretched and still until the catcher catches them. There are two things that make this successful. 1#. You must remain still when flying or it will be incredibly difficult for the catcher. So no flailing about, no matter how scared you feel.

2#. When your swing has you at the top of it's arc, you lose complete sight of the catcher. That is when you let go, with both hands. If you hang on with one hand until you see the catcher, he will miss.

This all sounds a bit extreme, but remember God loves you so much He will stop at nothing to catch your heart. He is even willing to sacrifice His only son for you (John 3:16).

The coolest thing about God, is that if you let go of your trapeze swing and you look more like a chicken trying to fly, God will always catch you before you hit the ground; you just won't see that safety net until your falling.

So when you are faced with a day where you have lost sight of what to do, just trust your creator and DO SOMETHING!!

 

 

Decision # 3

The Active Decision

I Am a Person of Action.*

Beginning today, I will create a new future by creating a new me. No longer will I dwell in a pit

of despair, moaning over squandered time and lost opportunity. I can do nothing about the past.

My future is immediate. I will grasp it in both hands and carry it with running feet. When I am

faced with the choice of doing nothing or doing something, I will always choose to act! I seize this

moment. I choose now.

I am a person of action. I am energetic. I move quickly. Knowing that laziness is a sin, I will create

a habit of lively behavior. I will walk with a spring in my step and a smile on my face. The

lifeblood rushing through my veins is urging me upward and forward into activity and accomplishment.

Wealth and prosperity hide from the sluggard, but rich rewards come to the person

who moves quickly.

I am a person of action. I inspire others with my activity. I am a leader. Leading is doing. To

lead, I must move forward. Many people move out of the way for a person on the run; others are

caught up in his wake. My activity will create a wave of success for the people who follow. My

activity will be consistent. This will instill confidence in my leadership. As a leader, I have the

ability to encourage and inspire others to greatness. It is true: An army of sheep led by a lion

would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep!

I am a person of action. I can make a decision. I can make it now. A person who moves neither

left nor right is destined for mediocrity. When faced with a decision, many people say they are

waiting for God. But I understand, in most cases, God is waiting for me! He has given me a

healthy mind to gather and sort information and the courage to come to a conclusion. I am not a

quivering dog, indecisive and fearful. My constitution is strong and my pathway clear.

Successful people make their decisions quickly and change their mind slowly. Failures make

their decisions slowly and change their mind quickly. My decisions come quickly, and they lead

to victory.

I am a person of action. I am daring. I am courageous. Fear no longer has a place in my life. For

too long, fear has outweighed my desire to make things better for my family. Never again! I have

exposed fear as a vapor, an impostor who never had any power over me in the first place! I do

not fear opinion, gossip, or the idle chatter of monkeys for all are the same to me. I do not fear

failure, for in my life, failure is a myth. Failure only exists for the person who quits. I do not quit.

I am courageous. I am a leader. I seize this moment. I choose now.

I am a person of action.

* The Traveler's Gift by Andy Andrews

I refuse to do something just cause!!

Often, I find people who do things because "that's just the way we do things", but they can't really explain why they do them. I am from a generation who has been over marketed to by commercials and magazines. We are typically born between 1978-2000, which other generations have dubbed us as Millennials. We are typically skeptical of everything and resist status quo without some valuable reason for doing it. We are also less likely to take a job based on it's pay or availability. We would rather do nothing than do something less meaningful and purposeful. Our attitude can be viewed as stubborn or arrogant or even self-righteous, but what is hard to understand usually gets labeled.
In the last blog I took an excerpt from Andy Andrews book Traveler's Gift; and I decided to stop pointing fingers, making excuses, or making assumptions based on the past. "The Buck Stops Here!"
This statement made our former president Harry Truman famous during a tumultuous season of our country. In the book, the author uses the moment just before Truman gives the okay to launch the atomic bomb on Japan. Truman was determined to stop disqualifying his decisions based on his credentials. A decision had to be made. Wrong or right, he had to own it.
What do you do if the pressure of a decision or the mounting pressure of life is becoming too much to bear?
In the Traveler's Gift our character, David Ponder, travels to ancient Israel and meets King Solomon. Solomon is renown for his great wisdom. When faced with a decision, Solomon tells Ponder to "Seek Wisdom":

  Decision #2

The Guided Decision

I Will Seek Wisdom.

Knowing that wisdom waits to be gathered, I will actively search her out. My past can never be

changed, but I can change the future by changing my actions today. I will change my actions

today! I will train my eyes and ears to read and listen to books and recordings that bring about

positive changes in my personal relationships and a greater understanding of my fellow man. No

longer will I bombard my mind with materials that feed my doubts and fears. I will read and listen

only to that which increases my belief in myself and my future.

I will seek wisdom. I will choose my friends with care. I am who my friends are. I speak their

language, and I wear their clothes. I share their opinions and their habits. From this moment

forward, I will choose to associate with people whose lives and lifestyles I admire. If I associate

with chickens, I will learn to scratch at the ground and squabble over crumbs. If I associate with

eagles, I will learn to soar great heights. I am an eagle. It is my destiny to fly.

I will seek wisdom. I will listen to the counsel of wise men. The words of a wise man are like raindrops

on dry ground. They are precious and quickly used for immediate results. Only the blade

of grass that catches a raindrop will prosper and grow. The person who ignores wise counsel is

like the blade of grass untouched by the rain—soon to wither and die. When I counsel with

myself, I can only make decisions according to what I already know. By counseling with a wise

man, I add his knowledge and experience to my own and dramatically increase my success.

I will seek wisdom. I will be a servant to others. A wise man will cultivate a servant’s spirit, for

that particular attribute attracts people like no other. As I humbly serve others, their wisdom will

be freely shared with me. Often, the person who develops a servant’s spirit becomes wealthy

beyond measure. Many times, a servant has the ear of the king, and a humble servant becomes

king for he is the popular choice of the people. He who serves the most grows the fastest.

I will become a humble servant. I will not look for someone to open my door—I will look to open

the door for someone. I will not be distressed when no one is available to help me—I will be

excited when I am available to help.

I will be a servant to others. I will listen to the counsel of wise men. I will choose my friends with care.

I will seek wisdom.