If I forgive, they win...right?

       Much of my adult life has been spent looking back, feeling resentful, regretful, and even feeling like a failure. It wasn't until recently that I learned self-pity is a form of pride. What makes it particularly sneaky, is that this form of pride only happens when you feel disappointed.

       I used to blame my dad for not being a better dad, my mom for not being a better mom, or even people who have let me down. My life was never a result of my own actions or responsibility. If I were to admit that I caused my own disappointment, then I am really a failure.

       Seems like a vicious cycle, never gaining any ground. Besides, I loved rainy days, sad songs, or any other reason to feel reflectively sorrowful. I excused it as a cleansing of my soul. Really, I was practicing the purest form of idolatry.

       Then, I had a chance to gain a better understanding of the results my life was producing. Instead of just recognizing that people let me down, I had to determine to forgive them and move forward. In some cases, I wasn't ready to let them win. Nevertheless, I was the only one being held captive, not them. I realized my prayers were hindered because I refused to forgive.

¹⁴ For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. ¹⁵ But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:14-15

Decision # 6

 

The Compassionate Decision*

I Will Greet This Day With a Forgiving Spirit.

For too long, every ounce of forgiveness I owned was locked away, hidden from view, waiting for me to

bestow its precious presence upon some worthy person. Alas, I found most people to be singularly

unworthy of my valuable forgiveness and, since they never asked for any, I kept it all for myself.

 

Now, the forgiveness that I hoarded has sprouted inside my heart like a crippled seed yielding bitter fruit.

No more! At this moment, my life has taken on new hope and assurance. Of all the world’s population, I

am one of the few possessors of the secret to dissipating anger and resentment. I now understand that

forgiveness only has value when it is given away. By the simple act of granting forgiveness, I release the

demons of the past about which I can do nothing and create in myself a new heart, a new beginning.

I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit. I will forgive even those who do not ask for forgiveness. Many

are the times when I have seethed in anger at a word or deed thrown into my life by an unthinking or

uncaring person. Valuable hours have been wasted imagining revenge or confrontation. Now I see the

truth revealed about this psychological rock inside my shoe. The rage I nurture is often one-sided, for my

offender seldom gives thought to his offense!

I will now and forevermore silently offer my forgiveness even to those who do not see that they need it.

 

By the act of forgiving, I am no longer consumed by unproductive thoughts. My bitterness is given up. I

 

am contented in my soul and effective again with my fellow man.

I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit. I will forgive those who criticize me unjustly. Knowing that

 

slavery, in any form, is wrong. I also know that the person who lives a life according to the opinion of

 

others is a slave. I am not a slave. I have chosen my own counsel. I know the difference between right and

 

wrong. I know what is best for the future of my family, and neither misguided opinion nor unjust criticism

 

will alter my course.

Those who are critical of my goals and dreams simply do not understand the higher purpose to which I

have been called. Therefore, their scorn does not affect my attitude or action. I forgive their lack of vision

and forge ahead. I now know that criticism is part of the price paid for leaping past mediocrity.

I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit. I will forgive myself. For many years, my greatest enemy has

been myself. Every mistake, every miscalculation, every stumble I made has been replayed over and over

in my mind. Every broken promise, every day wasted, every goal not reached has compounded the disgust

I feel for the lack of achievement in my life. My dismay has developed a paralyzing grip. When I

 

disappoint myself, I respond with inaction and become more disappointed.

I realize today that it is impossible to fight an enemy living in my head. By forgiving myself, I erase the

doubts, fears, and frustration that have kept my past in the present. From this day forward, my history

will cease to control my destiny. I have forgiven myself. My life has just begun.

I will forgive even those who do not ask for forgiveness. I will forgive those who criticize me unjustly. I

will forgive myself.

I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit.

 

* The Traveler's Gift by Andy Andrews