Soon after returning from London, I realized the answer to my questions. Although, this answer seemed to bring MORE questions. I began to take an inventory of myself and resources, because that's what wise people do when asked to DO something, right?
All I could hear in my mind was a small still voice saying, "Quit your job." This made no sense, nor was this the path I had spent years treading. "You can't quit your job without first having another lined up." is what I was always taught.
Many times after hearing this voice, I became convinced that was the answer. However, how do I take that step of faith when I can't see the path?
Many times this ended with me sobbing on my knees in the embrace of my wife assuring me that we would get through this. Disclaimer: DO NOT IGNORE THE VOICE!!
This was God's voice. He knew what lay ahead, and how my decisions would drive me deeper within myself. It finally culminated in September 2012. I left my career, but not for the reasons I had hoped. See, my ignorance to my depravity of sin and self, brought me to a mighty fall. My ego had grown to a mammoth size and I felt invincible. No decision was out of MY control.
"..For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it." Matthew 7:13God had to allow the ME MONSTER to completely destroy me before He had any room to work in my life. I love Him for that.
My destruction didn't come from having a "decided heart", but one of fear of failure and a need to be in control.
The beautiful love story here is, no matter whether it's a debilitating disease or a career ending move, God will stop at nothing in pursuit of your heart.
When you hear "that small still voice", have a decided heart to trudge forward no matter what. He is trustworthy!!
Decision #4*
The Certain Decision
I Have a Decided Heart.
A wise man once said, “A
journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Knowing this to be true, I am taking my first step today. For too long my
feet have been tentative, shuffling left and right, more backward than forward as my heart gauged the
direction of the wind. Criticism, condemnation, and complaint are creatures of the wind. They come
and go on the wasted breath of lesser beings and have no power over me. The power to control
direction belongs to me. Today I will begin to exercise that power. My course has been charted.
My destiny is assured.
I have a decided heart. I am passionate about my vision for the
future. I will awaken every morning with an excitement about the new day and its opportunity for
growth and change. My thoughts and actions will work in a forward motion, never
sliding into the dark forest of doubt or the muddy quicksand of self-pity. I will freely give my vision
for the future to others, and as they see the belief in my eyes, they will follow me. I will lay my head on my pillow at night happily exhausted,
knowing that I have done everything within my power to move the mountains in my path. As I sleep,
the same dream that dominates my waking hours will be with me in the dark. Yes, I have a
dream. It is a great dream, and I will never apologize for it. Neither will I ever let it go, for if I
did, my life would be finished. My
hopes, my passions, my vision for the future is my very
existence. A person without a dream never had a dream come true.
I have a decided heart. I will not wait.
I know that the purpose of analysis is to come to a conclusion.
I have tested the angles. I have measured the probabilities. And now I have made a decision with
my heart. I am not timid. I will move now and not look back. What I put off until tomorrow,
I will put off until the next day as well. I do not procrastinate. All my problems become smaller
when I confront them. If I touch a thistle with caution, it will prick me, but if I grasp
it boldly, its spines crumble into dust.
I will not wait. I am passionate about my vision for the future.
My course has been charted. My destiny is assured.
I have a decided heart.
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